Ruminations
There is a very fine line between being victorious at an auction bid and being an idiot who just paid far too much for an item.
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why is it if you cut me a block of cheese I'll feel sick after two bites, but slice that same block into wafer thin pieces and I'll eat the whole thing no problemo.
Annoying is: asking someone for their e-mail address & they spell it out for you phonetically. You only find out at the end that the word they are spelling is "newspaper". Please just say the word, stop giving it to me one letter at a time!
I always feel as if I've committed adultery when going back to my hairdresser after I've had my hair cut somewhere else.
Always check direction of air freshener nozzle before spraying,unless of course you wish to smell like apple & cinnamon potpourri
Every time I'm driving without my seatbelt on and I see a police car that's about to pass me, I sit up & push my back into the seat so at least it looks like I'm being constrained by something.
I hate it when I lapse in concentration whilst filing my nails and end up with a talon.
Dear Left Bra Strap, I can't tighten you any more. I'm at the end of my elastic. Please stop falling off my damn shoulder!
Just because your dad is my boss doesn't mean you and I have to be civil...you don't pay me.
Does anyone else wonder how they advertise auditions for that fat or ugly person they need for a sitcom?
People at my office always buy me lunch RIGHT after I've just bought my own....but I have this terrible thing in where I can't say no to free food...so I'm often bloated.
Just because you put your hazard lights on after you made your crap decision to reverse into on coming traffic, doesn't make it ok.
Don't try make me smile when I'm in a bad mood. Chances are it was you and if it wasn't it's going to be!
All power failures inevitably leave me waiting for the kettle to boil before I remember we have no power.
Does anyone else have a favorite mirror - one that makes you look better then all the other mirrors in your house?
It's a very awkward moment when I answer my home phone the way I answer my work phone.
I love people that answer simple questions in a really hardcore way. "So are you going to gym after work?"..."No! I'd rather eat shit and die!"
There is always someone that has to say something about a quote you post- like who actually said it, the date and context..Yes I KNOW John Lennon said it poephole THAT'S why I quoted it.
Why is it I only get a craving for Blueberry Jam when I'm wearing my white top?
If I'm alone in a restroom, I'll look at myself in the mirror. I'll fix my hair and top and even make my "sexy face" so I know what others are seeing, but should anyone else come in, I'll pretend the last thing I'm interested looking at is myself!
In my opinion people who say "I don't regret anything I've ever done" have never had a haircut, romance or character growth.
When someone says "Trust me." I immediately think why I shouldn't
There are two types of people in this world. Those that have "A walk to Remember" as an all time favorite movie, and those with brains.
I gag smelling milk. Even if it's not off, the thought that it could be makes me gag.
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