Last night, I gave a homeless guy a ride from McDonald's to where he'd stashed his bags about a mile down the road. He rocked out to my Stones CD the whole way, air-guitaring and singing his homeless ass off. Fuck yeah, homeless guy. Fuck yeah.
Comments
Gourmet for the use of "homeless ass". Thanks for making my day.
Posted by: Smilesunshine
287 days ago
i gave a homeless guy a ride to the bus stop once... i was in fear the entire time that he was going to reach over and stab me. Safe to say, I've never thought about doing that again.
Posted by: sxymofo
287 days ago
This has me cracking up... so awesome.
Posted by: StephBone
286 days ago
singing his homeless ass off. seriously amazing.
Posted by: KGmoney
285 days ago
I wish I could give this one 10 points!
Posted by: bobbyallstar
285 days ago
what's up dude, Katie's friend Teddy here. so katie and i constantly send each other our absolute favorite ruminations and I was about to send her this one and then realized your a friend of hers. fucking amazing dude, I don't know what everyone's talking about - my favorite part BY FAR is "Fuck yeah, homeless guy. Fuck yeah."
Posted by: dote21
285 days ago
I've been imagining this scene in my head for two days, quietly laughing to myself. Congratulations, this is officially my favorite rumination. :D
Posted by: lomesir22
281 days ago
when my dad bought my car, the rule was "no givin those homeless guys rides, eitha!"
Posted by: butta99
180 days ago
-In my last column, I wrote that I have been single (and loving it) for almost three years, but recently felt it was time to settle down with a girlfriend. An unintended consequence of this revelation was the onslaught of emails I received from potential suitors. While I would rarely if ever date someone who I met solely via email, the experience of having so many single and willing women thrust before me has made me doubt my initial inclination. Perhaps being single in New York isn’t so bad! Then again, having a stable partner-in-crime doesn’t sound uninviting either. The girlfriend vs. single debate is as old as man (or in my case, frat boy) itself. Pondering this question has left me vexed, confused, and exhausted. To settle down or saddle up – that is the ultimate question, that is the bind of the harried man.
-Here’s one argument for settling down. A few weeks ago, I went out and got drunker than a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I met a cute brunette and at the end of the night we went back to my apartment. As things were getting hot and heavy, she remarked that she thought my bedroom looked familiar. I said that I thought that she herself looked familiar. Then we both realized it. We had actually gotten together over a year ago, but both of us were too drunk to remember it. That’s right, folks. I’m hooking up in reruns.
-Here’s an argument for playing the field. I never want to be that guy who brings his girlfriend to the Super Bowl like my buddy did. That is like the ultimate man-sin. I had to spend most of the first half fielding inane questions from this chick like, “Um, is the punt returner on offense or defense?” Darling, it’s called special teams, now will you please get out of the way of the TV! To make matters worse, my buddy bought his girlfriend boxes in our pool. Of course she won the first three quarters. When the Bucs scored that meaningless touchdown with two seconds left, preventing her from winning all the money, it was the most exciting moment of the entire day.
-Fortunately, I have a large support network of good guy friends to offer advice when I run into girl trouble. Unfortunately, I’m starting to think their advice might not be too helpful after all. One of my buddies is twenty-nine, which to me, as a twenty-three-year-old, is old and wise. He usually pushes the relationship side of the argument. He believes that the stability and security of a girlfriend far outweighs the debauchery of the single life. Then I found out that he’s been engaged twice but never married. That’s just great, I’m getting dating advice from a fool who’s got more rings than Warren Sapp!
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