Last night, I gave a homeless guy a ride from McDonald's to where he'd stashed his bags about a mile down the road. He rocked out to my Stones CD the whole way, air-guitaring and singing his homeless ass off. Fuck yeah, homeless guy. Fuck yeah.
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Gourmet for the use of "homeless ass". Thanks for making my day.
Posted by: Smilesunshine
456 days ago
i gave a homeless guy a ride to the bus stop once... i was in fear the entire time that he was going to reach over and stab me. Safe to say, I've never thought about doing that again.
Posted by: sxymofo
455 days ago
This has me cracking up... so awesome.
Posted by: StephBone
455 days ago
singing his homeless ass off. seriously amazing.
Posted by: KGmoney
454 days ago
I wish I could give this one 10 points!
Posted by: bobbyallstar
454 days ago
what's up dude, Katie's friend Teddy here. so katie and i constantly send each other our absolute favorite ruminations and I was about to send her this one and then realized your a friend of hers. fucking amazing dude, I don't know what everyone's talking about - my favorite part BY FAR is "Fuck yeah, homeless guy. Fuck yeah."
Posted by: dote21
453 days ago
I've been imagining this scene in my head for two days, quietly laughing to myself. Congratulations, this is officially my favorite rumination. :D
Posted by: lomesir22
450 days ago
when my dad bought my car, the rule was "no givin those homeless guys rides, eitha!"
Posted by: butta99
348 days ago
-One of the oldest running jokes in Los Angeles is that no one is actually born here, they’ve just moved here from someplace else. That’s why at parties, when asked how long they’ve lived in LA, people will often tell you their exact anniversary – like they’re an alcoholic telling you how long they’ve been sober. For instance, having left New York on July 31st, 2005, tomorrow marks two years since I arrived in California. The second-oldest running joke in LA is that people come out here only intending to stay temporarily, and then never leave. Considering my original lease was a five-month sublet, I can’t argue with that one either. Having long since resigned to the fact that my foreseeable future will be spent on the West Coast, I’ve tried my best to adapt. Like our forefathers, who believed that America was destined to reach the Pacific Ocean, I too have come here to follow my dreams. Though of course, back then, no one could have imagined that Manifest Destiny would eventually spawn the whacked-out freak show known as Los Angeles that I call home today.
-Whenever a celebrity enters a bar in LA, the paparazzi set up camp outside. Then, when you walk out of the bar wasted at 2am, they’ll look you up and down to figure out if you’re famous or not, before letting you pass. They might even snap a picture or two just in case. If you really want to fuck with them, you can walk out with your hands covering your face, which makes them take pictures like crazy. And there’s nothing like seeing a photographer’s disappointment when he realizes you’re merely just a regular, upstanding, underwear-wearing citizen.
-Before I moved here, I checked weather.com to get an idea of what the weather would be like. I didn’t know what any of the local zip codes were, so I simply entered 90210. Only later did I feel stupid. Not because my knowledge of LA was limited to a cheesy ‘90s television show, but because it turns out the weather here never varies more than five degrees.
-The most striking difference between New York and LA is that New York is so much more egalitarian. Everyone takes public transportation in New York. In LA, there’s a bus and subway system that half the people (myself included) have never used. Merely waiting at a bus stop in LA reveals much about your socioeconomic status. I hate that. New Yorkers never really know exactly how much one another makes, but rather assume it based on preconceived notions and rash judgment – you know, like normal people.
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