Most Gourmet Ruminations NEWEST RUMINATIONS FAN FEED
 
412
gourmet points

gourmet this
Someone with a birthday between March and mid-May needs to step up and become an American hero. Three months is too long to go without a federal holiday.

 
 
263
gourmet points

gourmet this
The phrase "Your resume will be kept on file in the event an opportunity arises" roughly translates to "You are dead to us."

 
 
250
gourmet points

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There's is something wrong with a time management seminar that runs 20 minutes over time.

 
 
239
gourmet points

gourmet this
I hate erring at work and sucking it up with a simple "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." What I really want to say is "Linda in HR told me to do it this way, I followed her instructions, and she led me into a shit-filled ditch."

 
 
230
gourmet points

gourmet this
Someone needs to invent three-way texting.

 
 
201
gourmet points

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Paying for transcripts is ridiculous. I already paid thousands of dollars to take the classes, now I have to pay to prove that I took them?

 
 
197
gourmet points

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It seems like every time I try to sleep in, the sun wants to be super-bright. But that's fine, because then I make a mini-mountain out of my comforter in front of my face to block that shit out. How you like them apples, Mother Nature?

 
 
189
gourmet points

gourmet this
I love it when you're sick and suddenly everyone turns into Dr. Obvious. "You should take medicine! And make sure to rest and drink plenty of fluids!" Yeah, this isn't the first time I've been sick. I think I can handle it, thanks.

 
 
182
gourmet points

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Everyone at work found out that the copy machine stores everything it ever copied. Everyone's running around, "Oh no, my identity!" I was thinking, "Oh no, my butt!"

 
 
176
gourmet points

gourmet this
How do radio stations coordinate so they all play commercials at the same time?

 
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