Most Gourmet Ruminations NEWEST RUMINATIONS FAN FEED
 
228
gourmet points

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My wife asked me "Why would someone want to erase their internet history? Does it make the computer run faster?" Yes it does, honey, yes it does.

 
 
170
gourmet points

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Imagine what the Fresh Prince's cab ride cost.

 
 
118
gourmet points

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Nothing is worse than getting into an argument... Losing that argument... and then 10 minutes later thinking of a point that would have absolutely won the argument.

 
 
99
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You know you’re having a real shitty day when not only is the day dragging, but you're fucking starving over an hour ahead of the time when you normally have lunch.

 
 
85
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I hate when I am anticipating a phone call and I keep hearing my phone ring in my head. Sometimes it is so believable, that I convince myself my phone is going off and keep checking it.

 
 
83
gourmet points

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I don't understand how the older people in the corporate world come back from a vacation and claim to be relaxed, refreshed, and ready to work. When I get back I feel exhausted, still hung over, and ready to quit.

 
 
81
gourmet points

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I realized that I always park in the same area at the mall because if I don’t, I know I basically have no chance at finding my car whatsoever.

 
 
76
gourmet points

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Last night when I was very drunk, I fell into the toilet because I didn't notice that the seat wasn't down. Ladies, I now feel your pain and I'm sorry for never putting the seat down.

 
 
76
gourmet points

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Logging into Facebook should have a breathalyzer attached.

 
 
74
gourmet points

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It saddens me to know that the phrase "Please Be Kind, Rewind" will die with my generation.

 
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