Ruminations
You know you live in a sketchy area when the News talks about a man getting stabbed at the train station, and you think to yourself, "it must be a slow News day."
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Have you ever been so hungry that each time your stomach growled, you swore you were losing a couple pounds?
Could you imagine what Mike Rowe's resume would look like?
Does anyone else find it cruel that the retirement age is practically 70 years old? Oh sweet I can finally retire and enjoy my money, but I can't wipe my ass and I can barely walk. Bring on the good life baby!!
You can always tell who the science teachers are on campus.
I would rather walk outside naked than wear black shoes with white socks.
If I ever was a lifeline on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, all the seconds would be wasted because we would have had to wait for my slow ass computer to boot up.
Nothing makes me more jealous than college kids who don't work.
I envy those people who actually graduated college in 4 years.
I know this might sound weird, but it really bothers me when people are disgusted by simple foods like raisins and iced tea. Who the fuck doesn't like iced tea?
"Have a happy period." Cut the shit tampon commercial. There is no such thing as a happy period.
I hate when I feel obligated to reply to a text just because that person is a good friend of mine.
If you have a design that resembles piano keys, then you better believe that I'm going to pretend to play it.
"Blow it up and put your hand inside..." Yea real classy Sock'em Boppers commercial.
I always get angry when people can't remember if I went with them somewehere. Oh what? I'm not cool enough for you to remember me? Fuck you then.
I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't give a shit about Windows 7, macs, or PC's, or any of that stuff.
I remember when I used to wear the basketball shorts over the one-piece bathing suit. Ahhh the good times.
I'm confused as to why power windows do not come standard on a vehicle. It's 2009 right?
I was always jealous of those kids that did not mind opening their eyes underwater.
I hate stupid interview questions. What does me having a valid driver's license have to do with working at your company? If I can get to the interview, I'm pretty sure I can get to work.
I sometimes get confused when I have to fill out something that says postal code instead of zip code. "What the hell is a postal code?...Oh yea, nevermind."
Where the fuck are my sunglasses? Oh they're on my head. Whoops.
It really bothers me when I listen to other people's iPod's and they have like 7 "on the go" playlists. Catergorize your fucking music please.
I used to think that if you went over speed bumps fast enough, you could get airborne.
It bothers me when I see college students driving to school in brand new BMWs. If you can afford a new BMW, I'm quite sure you don't need a college degree.
The same people who say soccer is boring are the same people who watch baseball. Oh the irony.
I used to love it when my mom would take me to her job sometimes. Because for those twenty minutes, her co-workers treated me like I was God's gift to the world.
I wonder how many athletes that go to top notch schools actually got into those schools legitimately.
The only time I can ever find my wallet is when I don't need it.
It's not that I'm afraid of heights, It's just that I'm afraid of falling from high places.
I refuse to be one of those people who runs for the bus or train.
I really envy the people who still smell good after working out.
Nothing like dipping into your savings account to remind yourself how broke you are.
Remember that one neighborhood that supposedly gave out money on Halloween?
What is it about public transportation that makes people talk louder than necessary?
I think it's funny when we relate car problems to the company who makes the car. "Oh wat? You think something is wrong with your car battery? Well you do have a Ford..."
I feel like barista is too feminine a name for a guy who makes coffee. What about baristo?
I hate when I'm filling out a stupid online survey and I make up an email address, and the website tells me the email is not valid. Shit.
I'm all about "going green," until I see that nice ass Escalade.
For the longest, I thought Sisqo was actually Dru Hill.
"I got up, took a shower, and just threw on whatever." Seriously? If you go through all that time to take a shower, then you could've put on something decent.
If I'm handing you my phone so you can put your number in it, it's because I forgot your name.
The people who feel the need to "switch it up" and sit in different seats every class annoy the hell out of me.
If the week is going by fast, then you better believe the weekend is going to go by even faster.
Nothing is harder than trying to prove you did something cool on purpose.
Why do some people think it's ok that they can ride a bike while their dog is running alongside them? I'm pretty sure dogs get tired too.
Everytime I use public transportation, I pray to god that an old person does not get on so I don't have to get up and give them my seat.
Remember the days of actually having to "write" a paper? Rough draft: in pencil. Final Draft: blue or black ink and don't forget to skip a line.
Living in an apartment has taught me one thing: people who have washers and dryers inside their house take that shit for granted.
Please cut your son's hair. There is nothing cute about a four year old with hair touching his shoulders. He looks like a girl.
Why do we call it a shark attack? I would attack someone too if they were swimming around in my house without permission.
Does anyone else feel like they would vacuum more if the damn thing wasn't so loud?
I hate it when people actually think reality tv is real.
Since I'm majoring in Environmental Studies, does that automatically disqualify me from buying a plasma tv?
Hey person sitting next to me on the train, I can see you peeking at my phone when I'm typing out a text.
How come there are still some people who do not know the state of the economy? I had to explain to my friend why California is broke. She even lives in California. Really? Where have you been for the last two years? C'mon now.
Why do some cell phones have a little jingle when you turn them off? Isn't that defeating the purpose?
Running out of lead on test day is a terrible feeling. What's worse is the fact that I'm extremely hesitant to ask someone around me for an extra pencil out of fear that the teacher may think I'm cheating.
I am a girl and I like purses, but there is nothing more stupider than watching other girls pull binders out of their purses.
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