Does anyone else find it cruel that the retirement age is practically 70 years old? Oh sweet I can finally retire and enjoy my money, but I can't wipe my ass and I can barely walk. Bring on the good life baby!!
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You can always tell who the science teachers are on campus.
11
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I would rather walk outside naked than wear black shoes with white socks.
28
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If I ever was a lifeline on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, all the seconds would be wasted because we would have had to wait for my slow ass computer to boot up.
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Nothing makes me more jealous than college kids who don't work.
31
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I envy those people who actually graduated college in 4 years.
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I know this might sound weird, but it really bothers me when people are disgusted by simple foods like raisins and iced tea. Who the fuck doesn't like iced tea?
311
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"Have a happy period." Cut the shit tampon commercial. There is no such thing as a happy period.
112
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I hate when I feel obligated to reply to a text just because that person is a good friend of mine.
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If you have a design that resembles piano keys, then you better believe that I'm going to pretend to play it.
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"Blow it up and put your hand inside..." Yea real classy Sock'em Boppers commercial.
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You: I get car sick. What I hear: I'm a pansy.
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I always get angry when people can't remember if I went with them somewehere. Oh what? I'm not cool enough for you to remember me? Fuck you then.
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I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't give a shit about Windows 7, macs, or PC's, or any of that stuff.
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I remember when I used to wear the basketball shorts over the one-piece bathing suit. Ahhh the good times.
27
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I'm confused as to why power windows do not come standard on a vehicle. It's 2009 right?
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I was always jealous of those kids that did not mind opening their eyes underwater.
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I hate stupid interview questions. What does me having a valid driver's license have to do with working at your company? If I can get to the interview, I'm pretty sure I can get to work.
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I sometimes get confused when I have to fill out something that says postal code instead of zip code. "What the hell is a postal code?...Oh yea, nevermind."
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Where the fuck are my sunglasses? Oh they're on my head. Whoops.
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It really bothers me when I listen to other people's iPod's and they have like 7 "on the go" playlists. Catergorize your fucking music please.
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I used to think that if you went over speed bumps fast enough, you could get airborne.
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It bothers me when I see college students driving to school in brand new BMWs. If you can afford a new BMW, I'm quite sure you don't need a college degree.
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The same people who say soccer is boring are the same people who watch baseball. Oh the irony.
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I used to love it when my mom would take me to her job sometimes. Because for those twenty minutes, her co-workers treated me like I was God's gift to the world.
28
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I wonder how many athletes that go to top notch schools actually got into those schools legitimately.
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The only time I can ever find my wallet is when I don't need it.
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It's not that I'm afraid of heights, It's just that I'm afraid of falling from high places.
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I refuse to be one of those people who runs for the bus or train.
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I really envy the people who still smell good after working out.
35
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Nothing like dipping into your savings account to remind yourself how broke you are.
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Remember that one neighborhood that supposedly gave out money on Halloween?
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What is it about public transportation that makes people talk louder than necessary?
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I think it's funny when we relate car problems to the company who makes the car. "Oh wat? You think something is wrong with your car battery? Well you do have a Ford..."
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I feel like barista is too feminine a name for a guy who makes coffee. What about baristo?
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Can pilots text while they fly?
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I hate when I'm filling out a stupid online survey and I make up an email address, and the website tells me the email is not valid. Shit.
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I'm all about "going green," until I see that nice ass Escalade.
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For the longest, I thought Sisqo was actually Dru Hill.
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"I got up, took a shower, and just threw on whatever." Seriously? If you go through all that time to take a shower, then you could've put on something decent.
293
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If I'm handing you my phone so you can put your number in it, it's because I forgot your name.
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Pixie sticks don't make good Kool-aid.
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The people who feel the need to "switch it up" and sit in different seats every class annoy the hell out of me.
11
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If the week is going by fast, then you better believe the weekend is going to go by even faster.
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Nothing is harder than trying to prove you did something cool on purpose.
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Why do some people think it's ok that they can ride a bike while their dog is running alongside them? I'm pretty sure dogs get tired too.
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Everytime I use public transportation, I pray to god that an old person does not get on so I don't have to get up and give them my seat.
185
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Remember the days of actually having to "write" a paper? Rough draft: in pencil. Final Draft: blue or black ink and don't forget to skip a line.
85
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Living in an apartment has taught me one thing: people who have washers and dryers inside their house take that shit for granted.
124
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Please cut your son's hair. There is nothing cute about a four year old with hair touching his shoulders. He looks like a girl.
23
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Why do we call it a shark attack? I would attack someone too if they were swimming around in my house without permission.
103
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Does anyone else feel like they would vacuum more if the damn thing wasn't so loud?
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I hate it when people actually think reality tv is real.
10
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Since I'm majoring in Environmental Studies, does that automatically disqualify me from buying a plasma tv?
76
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Hey person sitting next to me on the train, I can see you peeking at my phone when I'm typing out a text.
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How come there are still some people who do not know the state of the economy? I had to explain to my friend why California is broke. She even lives in California. Really? Where have you been for the last two years? C'mon now.
29
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Why do some cell phones have a little jingle when you turn them off? Isn't that defeating the purpose?
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Running out of lead on test day is a terrible feeling. What's worse is the fact that I'm extremely hesitant to ask someone around me for an extra pencil out of fear that the teacher may think I'm cheating.
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I am a girl and I like purses, but there is nothing more stupider than watching other girls pull binders out of their purses.
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Why is it that when you are loaded with money, there is never anything that you want to buy?