-Everyone’s had that feeling of helplessness when you can’t find your cell phone or forget to charge your laptop or are unable to get an Internet connection. The first phase is panic. The second phase is anger. The third phase is nostalgia, as you hark back to a time when you didn’t need an app to order pizza. The fourth and final phase is surrender, as you realize you can’t get anything done and resign to take a nap instead. Technology has given us the power to booty-text five girls at once, the power to reconnect with kindergarten classmates we had no desire to reconnect with, and the power to check email at times and in places God and Google never intended. These days, everybody is drunk with power – which means we’re all setting ourselves up for a nasty hangover.

-Having a buddy who can’t send personal emails from work is like corresponding with someone living in another hemisphere. By the time they get home and reply, whatever you were talking about has become obsolete and you’re already asleep. If your company installs a new firewall, you might as well move to Australia, because that’s what it will feel like to your friends anyway.

-Remember that one random time that you called tech support ranting and raving, then rolled your eyes when told to make sure the device was actually plugged in, before realizing it in fact wasn’t plugged in? Well that’s the reason why customer service reps treat us all like idiots.

-I recently had a power outage in my apartment building that lasted so long I finally just gave up and went out run to errands. While I was gone, a friend informed me that power had been restored. When I returned home, I fully expected all my gadgets to have come to life in my absence, like a scene from that movie “Batteries Not Included.”