-When my very first girlfriend broke up with me, I was quite upset.  I told my dad I just didn’t understand women.  I’ll never forget my dad’s advice.  He said, “You don’t understand women?  I don’t understand women.  Women don’t even understand women!  Just give up.”  Many years later, as I trek nightly to clubs with monosyllabic names and try to meet “the One” in the alcohol-induced frenzy that is the New York City dating scene, I’ve realized that, for once, maybe my dad was right.

-The first challenge in meeting a girl is, of course, finding a girl that is actually single.  Does everyone have boyfriends in this city?  Sometimes I feel like there was this giant game of musical chairs and everyone sat down except for me.  Anyway, us guys need some sort of sign to see if a girl is taken or not.  To be honest, there’s not enough time on a Saturday night to sort through everyone.  If I’m talking to you, I’m not interesting in making a new friend, I’ve got enough of those.  So if you’re taken, just let me know and I’ll walk away and we can both get on with our lives.

-However, a lot of my friends say they like a “challenge.”  You know these guys.  They’re like, “I don’t care if she’s engaged, it’s more fun that way.  I like the challenge.”  Me, I don’t want to be challenged.  I don’t have the energy for that.  I’m looking for a single girl.  I don’t want challenges, obstacles, or hurdles, thank you very much.

-So my friend was dating this girl for a while.  He was pretty into her, but then she left him for another guy.  Eventually, the girl ended up marrying this new guy.  My friend was pretty bummed.  I think the fact that she ended up marrying this guy should have cheered him up.  It’s kind of like if the Knicks lose in the playoffs, but the team that beat them ends up going on to win the championship.  At least you lost to the best, you know?