-I’m a senior now.  Fuck me.  Well, it’s been a while, but Ruminations is back for one last year.  It was a crazy summer, living in New York City, working hard, and of course, getting really fucked up.  As always, some funny shit happened…

-My friend left his cell phone in a bar.  When he realized the next morning that he didn’t have his phone, he called it and the guy who jacked it actually picked up.  So my friend offers the guy fifty bucks to get his phone back and instead of calling the cops or going with a bunch of dudes to beat the guy up, he goes with his girlfriend, meets the guy on a shady street corner, and pays him fifty bucks to get his own phone back.  The guy has already made over a hundred calls.  My friend almost deserves it.

-Since I was living in the city instead of at home, I of course changed the address of my magazine subscriptions.  So I’m getting Sports Illustrated, no problem.  Then one week, the magazines just stop coming.  A few weeks later, I get a little postcard in my mailbox from SI saying that I have an invalid address and they can no longer send me issues.  Well how the fuck did you mail me this postcard then?

-Why does the TV show 20/20 control my life?  As far as my mom is concerned, whatever Barbara Walters says, goes.  First they had a show about binge drinking which resulted in a two-hour discussion with my mom about my drinking habits (“Mom, don’t worry, I just nurse one beer all night.”)  Then there was that show that says that cell phones cause cancer.  So what do I get in the mail from my mom?  One of those fucking earpieces for my phone.  I swear the sales of earpieces must have skyrocketed after that 20/20 episode.  So now everyone is walking around with them and it looks like they’re talking to themselves.