-Birthdays are a lot like New Year’s Eve in that you make a lot of promises to yourself about turning over a new leaf, only to abandon your attempts at change a few weeks later.  Of course, I have no ordinary birthday coming up.  In 52 days, I’m turning thirty.  Yeah, it’s a big one.  So while my time as a twentysomething is quickly running out, I’ve been considering several birthday resolutions, one of which is to be less grumpy.  As I wrote in Ruminations #110, I tend to sweat the small stuff.  Since that time, though, I’ve gotten a lot grumpier, and begun sweating even smaller stuff.  The first step, as they say, is to admit you have a problem.  But sometimes I wish “they” would just shut the fuck up.

-When customer service reps ask for my name, phone number, and address, why don’t they tell me what they need it for?  If you need to enter it into the system, I’ll speak slowly so you can spell everything correctly.  But if it’s just for verification purposes, please let me know so I can tear through this bullshit and get on with my life.

-Incense: noun; a substance burned to produce an aromatic odor.  Incensed: adjective; the feeling I get when someone near me is burning incense.

-Hey guy sitting next to me on the plane, I noticed you constantly peering over at the romantic comedy I purchased and am now watching on the seatback in front of me.  Guess what?  It just got twice as funny.