-A few weekends ago, I was locked in a do-or-die battle and thought all hope was lost. Dripping with sweat, my back to the wall, I nodded nervously to my teammate Devon. When he proceeded to sink our final ball into the cup of beer across the table, thus forcing overtime in our game of Beirut, the other barbeque attendees roared and I leaped into Devon’s arms, almost knocking us into the pool. Perhaps my elation was over the top, but as a thirtysomething guy and rabid sports fan, it felt warranted. Sure I root for my teams even when they’re not contenders, but all I really want in life is an excuse to go nuts and jump up and down like a maniac. Yes, athletics are about strategy and teamwork, but when you’re not the one competing, sports are also about wildly celebrating something you had no direct impact on. At the end of the day, we’re all championship pretenders.

-If you show up to a sporting event wearing the opposing team’s jersey, I dislike you but respect you. If you show up wearing a random third-party jersey, the jersey of the home team’s rival that’s not actually playing that day, or the jersey of the home city’s rival in a completely different sport, you might as well get the word “douche” stitched on the back.

-It’s amazing to me how so many NBA teams (including my Knicks) are purposely suffering multiple seasons of mediocrity just for the potential opportunity to sign LeBron James in 2010. In no other industry is this acceptable. No CEO ever says, “Our plan is to suck for the next three years just in case something awesome comes along.” Well, unless you’re General Motors.

-I have never once gleaned an interesting or unexpected insight from an interview with an athlete or coach. We get it – you played tough defense, you never gave up, it was a team effort, and you’d like to thank Jesus. I’d honestly rather watch a continuous loop of the burning Yule log than subject myself to live coverage of a post-game press conference.