Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Comments
but then you'd never get laid, dustinyo. BUUUUUUUUURN!
Posted by: bigjerm
103 days ago
Well, that's not any different than it is now.
Posted by: dustinyo
103 days ago
burns are less fun when the burnee is self deprecating
Posted by: bigjerm
103 days ago
Shit my bad. Let me rephrase that then. Fuck you dude! I get more ass than a toilet seat, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!
Posted by: dustinyo
103 days ago
More ass that a toilet seat! LMAO that's awesome!
Posted by: udeljax
103 days ago
It would be more awesome if it was actually true.
Posted by: dustinyo
103 days ago
haha, that's more like it.
Posted by: bigjerm
103 days ago
yeah, yeah, have a good laugh. but this is a serious matter. the douchebag population in this country is out of control and nobody is doing anything to stop it. i blame you ladies.
Posted by: Joker328
103 days ago
Yep. As long as killing them is illegal, it's up to the female population to keep them from reproducing. Only you can stop this disease ladies!
Posted by: dustinyo
103 days ago
Your problem is ladies aren't sleeping with douchebags. Sluts and imbeciles are.
Posted by: SmellieMel
102 days ago
hmmmm... you may be onto something. I may have to do some field research.
Posted by: dustinyo
102 days ago
I think she just called me a slut & am imbecile. Bitch.
Posted by: snarkolepsy
102 days ago
Are you admitting to sleeping with douchebags?? For shame...
Posted by: dustinyo
102 days ago
no, i just felt like saying it. its sort of like eating when i'm hungry.
Posted by: snarkolepsy
102 days ago
Or sleeping when you're tired?? I do that too!
Posted by: dustinyo
102 days ago
If it fucks like a duck...
Posted by: SmellieMel
102 days ago
.. it's probably some awkward sex.
Posted by: snarkolepsy
102 days ago
douchebags are not a product of breeding, but a product of environment. if we really want to take them down, we need to get the source: mtv and ambercrombie.
Posted by: bigjerm
103 days ago
I think a study needs to done to find out once and for all if there is, in fact, a douchebag gene.
Posted by: dustinyo
103 days ago
how would you find out? by beating up douchebags and asking them how they got the way they are? if so, i'm in. i'll require a lot of grant money, though.
Posted by: bigjerm
103 days ago
Yes, grant money and beating up douchebags. Sounds like the greatest gig ever.
Posted by: dustinyo
102 days ago
Now that would be a reality show I would watch.
Posted by: sbeaulac
101 days ago
I think the douchebag gene derives from the "tool" gene. I have always found them to be closely related.
Posted by: Jeffiner
102 days ago
But they are so sexy in their Ed Hardy shirts and Von Dutch hats...
Posted by: DanIsAGirlsNameToo
102 days ago
I don't know how you can manage to resist
Posted by: dustinyo
102 days ago
I try so hard but I can't help it if a popped collar makes me swoon
Posted by: DanIsAGirlsNameToo
102 days ago
If we didn't sleep with "douche bags", we would never end up heartbroken and alone and seek comfort with the "nice guy" who, lets face it, we will eventually end up sleeping with. Douche bags gets nice guys laid. Look at the big picture here.
Posted by: bensies919
101 days ago
I would rather douchebags just never reproduced and stopped existing. Then girls have no choice but to sleep with the nice guys!
Posted by: dustinyo
101 days ago
Waiting has turned many a nice guy into a douchebag.
Posted by: oscarisamazing
101 days ago
Or to join a band.
Posted by: troysbucket
98 days ago
-This year, I spent more time on the phone with technical support than I did on the phone with my mom. No one benefits from this – not me, not the support reps I become surly with after about 90 seconds, and certainly not my mom. The fact is, our generation is more dependent on technology than ever before. I’m beholden to anything with a computer chip – be it a laptop, cell phone, or DVR that always cuts off the end of Grey’s Anatomy. While my dad thinks an email address and a URL are the same thing, and can’t copy and paste without using the mouse, I think meeting a girl in person and on Facebook are the same thing, and can’t travel more than two blocks without consulting Google Maps. So although it’s unclear who benefits from all this new technology, one thing’s for certain: today’s twentysomethings are connected at the chip.
-In February, I did something I never thought I’d do: I switched to a Mac. For me, this was the technological equivalent of becoming a Red Sox fan, but after doing the research I felt it was the best move. My new computer looks totally gourmet, but, nine months later, I wish I felt more euphoric about the switch. It’s kind of like dating a really hot girl that you don’t have strong feelings for. You want to love her, but in the end you’ll just settle for your friends being impressed when they see you together.
-I have a Google Alert set up for my name so that if anyone writes an article about me, I get an email about it. The only problem is, there’s an Armenian ultimate fighter named Karo “The Heat” Parisyan, and Google sometimes gets us confused. I’ll think I’m clicking on an article about one of my books, and it’ll turn out to be about a mixed martial arts tournament. Sometimes I wonder if the other Karo experiences the same problem, but I have a feeling he’s too busy kicking ass to configure Google Alerts.
-The best part about DVR is trying to fast forward exactly when the show is about to go to commercial, and hitting play exactly when it comes back. We all know when our favorite shows are about to go to break – we can tell by the music and camerawork; our pupils dilate and blood rushes to our trigger finger. We also sense when the commercials are about to be over – usually because there’s a promo for the local newscast or the show “Bones” (neither of which I’ve ever heard of anyone ever watching).
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