I have the worst birthday in the world. Who's going to go out and party with me on Christmas Eve? You just can't compete with Jesus.
Comments
So THIS is where your Jesus issues stem from!
Posted by: DescubrirElPastel
273 days ago
You know who came out drinking with me on my 21st? Not Jesus! He could have showed up and turned some water into Miller Lite, but no.
Posted by: troysbucket
273 days ago
Just invite a lot of Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists.
Posted by: dwightschrute
273 days ago
I would, but they aren't really big drinkers. And I don't know any.
Posted by: troysbucket
273 days ago
That's why you invite the jews.
Posted by: TITANr12
272 days ago
Love the Jews!
Posted by: troysbucket
272 days ago
Well, cross me off that list. Man, I can't imagine what a thorn in your side that must be, to be nailed with a Christmas Eve birthday.
Posted by: Danish
272 days ago
Oh common! Look at the bright side: DOUBLE PRESENTS!!! Wooo hooooo!!! :D
Posted by: tennisdollface
271 days ago
my birthday is ON christmas... i totally feel you... it's been 5 years now of me being like "so bars tonight?!?" followed with "we're at church with family" riiight...
Posted by: rolinsand
271 days ago
-A little over two years ago, at the end of my senior year of college, I started to feel like I needed a change. After all, for the past several years, I had been hanging out with the same fifteen people every day. We all went to the same bar, the same movie theater, and the same deli. I was ready to graduate and move on. So I moved to Manhattan where I now live within a ten-block radius of my entire crew from high school and about a dozen fraternity brothers. We all go to the same bar, the same movie theater, and the same deli. In other words, besides the 400% increase in my rent, not much has changed. While I was initially disheartened by this stagnancy, I soon learned that being surrounded by old friends isn’t a bad thing. In fact, having a lot of friends around actually makes it easier to meet new people. And those new people sometimes know cute chicks. And that’s a very good thing. In the daunting streets of New York City, your friends are all you’ve got. Each one serves a specific prpose – some to make you laugh, some to get you drunk, and some to get you laid. Taken together, your friends form an intricate support network of checks and balances, from wingmen to designated drivers. I call this well-oiled machine the Buddy System.
-My friend Claudio is a bad-introducer. I’ll be standing next to Claudio at the bar having a beer and a succession of girls will come up, kiss him on the cheek, and make small talk, but he doesn’t even acknowledge me. It’s like for three minutes, I no longer exist, then the girl leaves and I reappear. Unlike me, Claudio is friendly and nice, so he knows tons of people. But I’ve never met any of them.
-My friend Eric is a shit-talker. These are the guys that are incapable of telling you a story without exaggerating. When you become close enough friends with a shit-talker, you learn to discount everything he claims by 75%. So if Eric claims he got a $20,000 raise and slept with four chicks last week, I know he only got a $5,000 raise and hooked up with one chick. Tops.
-One drawback of the Buddy System is the constant amount of peer pressure being placed on you. For instance, over the past year, I’ve partied like a wild animal in Manhattan, South Beach, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Mardi Gras, and Rio de Janeiro. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on martinis and Michelobs. I’ve hooked up a lot and been shot down even more. I’ve thrown up on myself and others. But when one of my friends calls me at midnight on a rainy Tuesday night to see if I want to grab a beer and I decline, the response is always the same: “Pussy.”
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