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I have the worst birthday in the world. Who's going to go out and party with me on Christmas Eve? You just can't compete with Jesus.
Posted by   troysbucket   troysbucket   99 days ago  |  Comments   9 Comments  
 

Comments

So THIS is where your Jesus issues stem from!
Posted by: DescubrirElPastel DescubrirElPastel 99 days ago

You know who came out drinking with me on my 21st? Not Jesus! He could have showed up and turned some water into Miller Lite, but no.
Posted by: troysbucket troysbucket 98 days ago

Just invite a lot of Hindus, Muslims and Buddhists.
Posted by: Avatar dwightschrute 98 days ago

I would, but they aren't really big drinkers. And I don't know any.
Posted by: troysbucket troysbucket 98 days ago

That's why you invite the jews.
Posted by: TITANr12 TITANr12 98 days ago

Love the Jews!
Posted by: troysbucket troysbucket 98 days ago

Well, cross me off that list. Man, I can't imagine what a thorn in your side that must be, to be nailed with a Christmas Eve birthday.
Posted by: Danish Danish 98 days ago

Oh common! Look at the bright side: DOUBLE PRESENTS!!! Wooo hooooo!!! :D
Posted by: Avatar tennisdollface 97 days ago

my birthday is ON christmas... i totally feel you... it's been 5 years now of me being like "so bars tonight?!?" followed with "we're at church with family" riiight...
Posted by: Avatar rolinsand 97 days ago

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Column Archive

Ruminations #162

By Aaron Karo

"Miles"
November 2nd, 2009

-Everything is calculated in miles when you travel for business – the length of your flights, the distance from the airport to the hotel, and the size of the frequent flier bonus you get for stopping in Atlanta for no fucking reason. What’s not measured is the wear and tear that jet setting inevitably exacts on your soul. One can only take so much. As I’ve crisscrossed the country over the past few weeks on tour (yes, I realize calling that “business” travel is a stretch), I feel I’ve reached the limit of how many indignities one person can suffer. If frustration, helplessness, and discomfort could be measured in miles, I’d be a platinum member greeted by name and given hand jobs in the Admirals Club.

-Nowhere in the airport is there more silent tension than between the anxious people waiting around to board, and those smug fucks who have just landed. No one likes you; keep walking, assholes.

-It boggles my mind that more vagrants don’t just steal luggage from the baggage claim. There’s no security down there and hundreds of free life-starter kits are just circling around, ripe for the taking. It’s a hobo’s wet dream.

-Whenever I’m traveling somewhere random, I’m astonished that there are actually other people on the flight. Nashville to Minneapolis on a Wednesday? Who else could possibly need to take this route but me?

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