-I know all too well the stress of working.  As a Wall Street drone I had my share of endless meetings, bad coffee, and hungover Fridays.  Since I left Wall Street this summer, I’ve discovered a whole new world – the world of the unemployed.  I noticed an interesting thing the other day as I strolled down Third Avenue at 2pm on a Wednesday.  There was a hell of a lot of people outside!  And these were not investment bankers on a lunch break or job hunters going to an interview.  These people were straight-up unemployed and get this…they looked happy.  In these trying times, my generation is only interesting in two things: trying to get laid and trying not to get laid off.  Of course, with no real job to get laid off from, I’m only interested in one thing.  Welcome to a day in the life…

-I like to start my day off at the gym.  I belong to a really nice gym, I don’t know, maybe even a little too nice.  The first time I went in there this dude took me on a tour of the place.  He was all perky like, “Here is the spa, next to it is the aerobics center, and over there is the double-paned, temperature-controlled, soundproof yoga facility!”  I was like, dude, can you show me some weights or something, cause I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable.

-I’ve noticed that, when working out, people always wear shorts or a t-shirt from the last organized league they played in.  The huge guy doing squats has his college lacrosse shorts on.  I’m there with a shirt from my high school soccer team.  And the fat dude in the corner with his middle school tennis shirt on, well, you know he hasn’t worked out in a while.

-The gym is full of people pretending to look in the mirror.  Guys are taking a drink from the water fountain, sneaking a peak at their abs, picking up a towel, checking out their biceps.  Everyone is pretending to look.  I say we screw all this pretend nonsense.  We’re all in the gym so that we look better in the mirror, so why is looking in the mirror at the gym such a bad thing?  Hell I’m full-out flexing and I’m the smallest dude there.