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I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Posted by   sarah2004i   sarah2004i   1 month ago  |  Comments   17 Comments   Share   Share  
 

Comments

Don't most people do this directly after they're done using the computer?
Posted by: Doomer Doomer 1 month ago

when you went to class i used to type random, embarrassing web addresses into your browser so they would pop up in your history when you used it later
Posted by: Middie Middie 1 month ago

Wouldn't he just come back and figure, "oh, Middie has been looking at some wierd shit again."
Posted by: Avatar montecristo 1 month ago

touché... but i think my hopes were he would use it in front of someone or random girl x would be using it and see that he recently visited mailorderbrides,com
Posted by: Middie Middie 1 month ago

Actually...I used to use your computer to look at dirty pictures when you were at class. Oh no...can anyone say one handed mousing? It was payback for pulling up DianaandDonkey.com...JK JK
Posted by: Doomer Doomer 1 month ago

is there such thing as two handed mousing?
Posted by: LindsaySimon LindsaySimon 4 weeks ago

Touche LindsaySimon...touche. Maybe for people with really really small hands, like Middie.
Posted by: Doomer Doomer 3 weeks ago

I believe a more accurate depiction could have been "left-handed mousing?"
Posted by: sarah2004i sarah2004i 3 weeks ago

Will you be my best friend?
Posted by: Karo Pavelo 1 month ago

and check your residence for sensitive information of materials that would bring shame upon your memory .
Posted by: MikeyLikes MikeyLikes 1 month ago

i'm hopefuly my best friend will clean out my nightstand drawer if I die...
Posted by: Avatar PurdueAmy 1 month ago

word.
Posted by: Karo alicia 1 month ago

Isnt the gist of this post the same as the concept of a "porn buddy"? If you dont have one, get one. You dont want momzie to have to wade through your filth after you died texting from the back of a motorcycle.
Posted by: Avatar JLD123 1 month ago

I highly recommend a "shovel buddy"... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shovel_Buddy
Posted by: Avatar IIFY08 1 month ago

"Porn Buddy" from the BBC show "Coupling" Season 1. Basically the same thing
Posted by: Avatar icarus 3 weeks ago

Sweet even chicks thinks this way.
Posted by: Avatar wetz89 2 weeks ago

And get rid of any "collections" you may have in your apartment!
Posted by: Avatar ShirleyBeans 1 week ago

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Column Archive

Ruminations #65

By Aaron Karo

“Man’s Best Friends”
February 28th, 2005

-It has been said that a true friend is someone who knows all your flaws – and is still your friend.  In my experience, a true friend is someone who knows all your flaws – and seizes every single opportunity to make fun of you for them.  In fact, my buddies often say that my penchant for making jokes at their expense is simply a ploy to disguise my own insecurities.  God, how fucking dumb are my stupid friends?

-No matter what the context, if I ever mention a female in conversation, my buddy Chi will always stop me and ask, “Wait, was she hot?”  I’m like, “So the girl sitting next to me on the bus today was – ” and Chi’s like, “Whoah, hold on.  She cute?”  And if I tell him she wasn’t, he gets a sad little look on his face and stops paying attention.  I believe he has a mild form of ADD only triggered by the thought of unattractive women.

-My friend Shermdog continues to have the most impressive game I’ve ever seen.  The only way I can describe it is that when I see him hit on girls, I’m so awed that I’m almost subconsciously afraid I might hook up with him.  (Please note: I said almost.)  One time I was out with Shermdog when these cute chicks sat down at the table next to us and ordered sushi.  I made some lame-ass joke which they totally ignored.  Then I went to the bathroom.  By the time I came back, Shermdog was actually sitting at their table and feeding one of the girls a spicy tuna roll.  He had them eating out of the palm of his hand.  Literally.

-My buddy Jason lives with his girlfriend.  I always feel so awkward and immature when I call their home number and have to leave a message.  It usually goes something like this: “Hey Jason, it’s Karo… uh, and, um, hi to you too, Jocelyn.  Hello to the both of you, um, together.  Uh oh, am I calling too late?  Oh man, I’m definitely calling too late.  You guys are probably sleeping.  Or having sex.  Oh God I shouldn’t have said that.  OK, uh, Jason, just give me a call back.  Or Jocelyn you can call me back too, I guess.  I mean, I was calling for Jason but, you know, I don’t want you to be insulted or anything.  You know what?  Maybe it’s best if we never speak again.”

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