-There’s nothing worse than realizing that a monkey could do your job.  It happens to everyone.  You’re sitting at your desk doing mindless busywork, and you think to yourself: You know what?  Throw some Banana Republic khakis and a blue button-down on a chimp and he could probably do what I do.  Once I swear I saw the cubicle next to mine being fitted for a cage.

-How fun is searching the online company directory for pictures of hot chicks?  It’s like Friendster except you know the girl is somewhere in the building.  I always thought the Holy Grail was finding a hot chick in tech support.  It’s just so rare that you meet a girl with brains, beauty, and the ability to remotely expand your email inbox quota.

-The one driving force motivating every twentysomething in corporate America is “face time,” or the perception that the more your boss sees you at your desk, the more productive he or she thinks you are.  This is a complete joke of course because half the time you’re at your desk you’re reading dirty forwards like this one.  Instead of rewarding face time, I think you should be rewarded for having the forethought to have a really complicated-looking document open in another window to alt-tab to when your boss walks by.

-I had a friend who had to work her way up to a new level of responsibility and take on all the additional work for six months before she was actually promoted.  In essence, she had to become what she was being promoted to…in order to be promoted to it.  If that wasn’t bad enough, a few weeks later she saw her current position listed on Monster.  That’s a real confidence-booster.  On a whim, she applied for her own job.  She didn’t get it.