Ruminations
why do people in movies always have the exact change to pay for their food? and why do they always just leave the money on the table?
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Nothing is more irritating than having someone who's never seen a single episode of LOST sit and watch with you for the first time and and ask you questions.
The Amazon Kindle has 11,862 customer written reviews. At what point do you ask yourself, will anyone even get to read my review?
When Amazon decides to sell gas and groceries, they will officially take my entire paycheck.
All hot model type girls have a universal dance, right hand up in the air, left hand messing up the hair, head looking over their shoulder.
Time to pretend to give a shit about football again.
I hate to break this to the younger generation but Britney Spears was our Taylor Swift. She also pretended to be a virgin, her Jonas brother was Justin Timberlake oh and that guitarist playing next to Taylor sure looks a lot like a young K-fed.
Notice how they schedule the country singers to perform right exactly when the Grammys hit the 1.5 hours of a 3 hour show? It's like the half time show, time to pee and refill drinks.
I hate what skinny pants on men represent. The fact that I am now officially unhip and that I now sound exactly like my old man "those pants make you look like a pansy!"
yes I'm watching Conan just in case this episode becomes a Jeopardy answer.
Hope for Haiti, I know it's for a good cause but if I call and I get Carrot Top, I'm hanging up until I get at least Adam Sandler or Chris Rock.
The problem with tivo is I end up watching my shows around midnight so the food commercials intended for primetime get me at late night. Domino's Philly Cheese Steak Pizza at 1am, damn you ad agencies, you win again.
People will never admit it but at one point in the movie Avatar we all wondered what the sex scene will be like.
I hate doing the walk of shame especially when all I got was a hand job.
Today's kids missed out on the sheer joy and excitement that the AOL's you got mail guy's voice brought everyone.
Romance is putting up a sunset on the beach poster in front of her treadmill.
Nobody can watch porn without fast forwarding period.
You know you're fighting a losing weight battle when McDonald's relaunches the McRib just right after thanksgiving.
Where can I vote to detach the jersey shore and all the guidos in it from the USA?
I would be shaking like a chihuahua too if I was carried around in a purse by an idiot in 4 inch heels.
Is there a rule that says you can no longer write new Christmas songs? you can remake the old ones but you cannot write new ones.
We all thought about it at some point, this DJ could just be playing a CD and we wouldn't even know it.
I still keep my American Express Platinum Card in my wallet even though it's expired and I no longer have an account with them.
You know who got a raw deal in the animal kingdom? the Anteater, we didn't even give it a real name. We just call it by what it eats.
ok you can stop pretending that you don't watch Gossip Girl.
My tight shirt doesn't care that I'm fat. It's your responsibility to talk me out of wearing it.
If you order the fish please do not expect me to share my steak.
Women have the talent of picking out the worst food on the menu and the courage to order it and the nerve to want to share with your food.
That TV show Cheaters would be so much better if they had better looking couples cheating on each other.
Further evidence that the middle child is neglected. Have you ever heard anyone talk about the 2nd world countries? ever?
I have a feeling that people who take the stairs instead of the elevator probably still use dial-up and are probably close friends with vegetarians.
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