Changing wireless carriers is like breaking it off with an obsessive, long-term girlfriend. They immediately beg you not to leave, send you emails with promises of new ways they will take care of you, and call you to completely bash the carrier you are leaving them for. Finally you just have to say "Sorry, they do things you won't and the service wasn't that good."

Dogs do an interesting thing upon meeting other dogs on the street; they immediately sniff each other's genitalia. This is how they decide if they want to stick around or not. Wouldn't this be great if it were socially acceptable for people to do the same? You wouldn't have to waste time and money talking to someone in a bar just to find out later that their special place smells like the dumpster behind a butcher shop.

Have you ever ordered a beer at a bar purely based on how cool the tap looks? You know, the one that sticks out above all the others. It has a dog's head, a duck's body, a halo over top and is wearing a life jacket. I don't care if it's called "Dog Shit Ale", I just want to see the beer shoot out the duck's ass.