Ruminations
I realize i'm 23.. but I still poke my finger into the frosting of the cupcake I want, and lick the biggest cookie out of a batch to call dibs.
21 
When I die I want it to be while doing the nasty like in all the scary movies.
If your attempts to come up to my apartment go as far as asking to use my computer to look up some directions, and I reply by saying "Oh I actually have my gps in my purse, whats the address?" Chances are you're not getting any from me. Ever.
It's not that I can't fall asleep on the plane. It's the fact that I have a habit of moaning inappropriately while I'm sleeping that makes me paranoid to fall asleep.
I'm so used to driving that on the rare occasion I am in the passenger seat I never know what to do with my hands. I always resort to the oh so awkward self-hand holding while trying to act nonchalant.
I hate when I know who the voice over is in an animated movie. Now when I'm watching the movie I just picture Jonathan Taylor Thomas sitting in a studio, wearing pajamas, and roaring while I'm looking at Simba.
Do strippers fill out W4 forms? Better yet, do hookers even pay taxes? Not like I'm looking for a career change or anything.
I don't care if you do have OCD, wait until I turn around before you bust out the purell after shaking my hand.
I still double knot my shoelaces out of fear ever since they came undone and got caught in my bike, causing me to flip over the handlebars on the playground when I was 9.
When planning a trip with your girl friends make sure to invite someone a little less attractive, you always look better standing next to them in pictures.
Every time I see someone use chapstick, even if it's on tv, my lips are magically dry 2 seconds later and I need to use my own.
No matter what time I call it just happens to be when my mom just walked in the door and is "too tired to talk." Good thing I wasn't calling for you to talk, so shut up and listen to my story.
There is nothing more awkward than walking down the street and a random dog going straight for your crotch. I know my shit don't stink, so get your pervert dog away from me. Thank you.
As soon as you hit 21 restaurants should give you birthday drinks instead of a slice of cake. Screw the sparkly candle thing, I want liquor.
If I'm wearing Syracuse sweatpants, a Syracuse hoodie, and hand you a Syracuse credit card, the first thing you say to me should not be "did you by chance go to Syracuse?" No jackass.. I'm just a huge fan of their football team.
When I tell you I was born in November, please don't do the math in your head and then with a creepy smirk say "so you're a Valentine's baby?" Now i'm just picturing my parents doing it, and thats not fun for anyone.
Guys, if you attempt to hit on a girl at a bar and she starts to text, she is in fact texting shit about you to her friends sitting near her.
I wish you could bookmark people on facebook like you can applications. It would make my stalking time much more efficient.
How could Obama not win with 2 of the greatest forces in America behind his campaign.. Chris Hughes, co-founder of Facebook, and Oprah.
Why are juice boxes always one sip away from satisfying?
It's obvious that people who ruminate do a lot of their research on Facebook...
I could leave all the doors and windows of my apartment unlocked and feel completely safe. But a closed shower curtain? sheer panic.
I don't care how old you are, never back down from a double dog dare.
I'm the worst person to watch scary movies with. Instead of getting scared I just get so pissed off at how unbelievably stupid the people are in them. If you go into the ominous, smelly room to "get a better look," you most certainly deserve to die.
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