Ruminations
When a professor says "The following material will not be on the Mid-term", it's heard as "time to go for a new high score on brick-breaker"
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Does anyone ever wonder if Sherlock Holmes would have caught Sweeney Todd?
I feel with the most recent technological advancements, morse code is a little outdated.
I've always wanted to rip my shirt open in a moment of passion, but the thought of having to sew the buttons back on quickly changes my mind.
I think we should bring back terms like "tomfoolery" and "hooplah"
Why is entertaining a baby for longer than 30 minutes completely and utterly exhausting?
If women were really allowed to have their men on a "ball-and-chain", many sports would be much more entertaining. Like swimming.
One of these days, I'm going to write an entire course evaluation in LolCat : "I KAN HAS BETTAR PWOFESSOR PLZ?"
It's really unfortunate when you stop to talk to someone you know in the hallway, and they don't even break pace.
Your glasses are perfectly clean right up until the moment where the light hits them in that one certain way. That's when you suddenly question how the hell such a myriad of stains and smudges found their way on to your face.
The more seats I have to save, in any given setting, the more articles of clothing I seem to have to remove
If real fights were like slapstick fights, there would be a lot more broken chairs and a lot less pies for eating.
I wish it was still socially acceptable to smack someone in the face with a glove and challenge them to a duel.
I just met a jar of pickles that I could not open. It's official, I can now offer absolutely nothing to my wife
If someone has their hand up in class and the prof can't see it, I will look back and forth between the prof and the student for as long as it takes until that goddamn question is answered.
Whenever I use store credit, I always feel like I'm getting shit for free.
If I try and move something, and it doesn't budge, I am immediately convinced that it is unmoveable
At work, take two sheets of paper in either hand, look back and forth between both of them with a cross expression on your face. Guaranteed, not one person will bother you. Bonus points if those sheets are blank.
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