Ruminations
What exactly was the point of computers before the Internet?
12 
A month's supply of Birth Control needs to come with 'extras' just in case you drop one and can't find it or drop one on a really gross floor.
I feel like I've seen Twilight already because of how many times they've advertised it.
It blows my mind that a soda that has just dropped from a vending maching will not explode when you open it.
It totally throws me off when the first three digits of someone's phone number are the same as an area code I'm familiar with.
Really Purina, everyone says he's the most handsome cat around? Those words have never been uttered by anyone other than that weird cat lady you put in your commercial. I'm buying food to feed my cat, not have him get hit on by all of my houseguests.
When I start a new internship I tell my younger bosses that I'm 33. Its a good icebreaker: they're thinking how sad it is to be that age and not have a job and then it doesn't seem so bad when I tell them I am in fact a 24 year old unpaid intern.
I don't care if I'm only going one stop on the Metro. I'm still looking for a place to sit because I'm just that lazy.
What's the point of writing a half page paper anyway? I may as well just call and dictate it to my professor's voicemail.
A friend told me this story about a guy who wanted to get "Outlast" tattooed on his wrist. The artist misunderstood and wrote "Outcast." Wow. There is just no coming back from that one...
If I can hear your music through your headphones on the Metro...I hate you. Especially if its obnoxious rap and I'm hungover.
This just in: GMail has suffered a meltdown and a record high of individuals are using Facebook Chat for the first time in their lives.
If you planned all along to call your child by their middle name...Why not just make it their first name?
Whenever I get to the office first I like to pretend like I've been there way longer than I actually have. If I walk in at 9:50 and someone else at 9:55...Oh, nice of you to have joined us, I've been here since 9, Slacker.
I hate published studies that say things like "Peppermint stimulates brain activity." Does it really stimulate it so much to make you a temporary genius? No? Then keep your findings to yourself while I find a real way to not study and ace the test.
I am so that person who likes the "cover version" of a song better than the original. Speed it up, slow it down, add a techno beat. I love it.
So you burned all your money and lived the hitchhiking, scavenger life for two years? Then wrote a book about it, made a movie, and made a million? Ah, the Hippie American Dream...Act like you're above The Man until you sell out for a movie deal.
Whatever happened to Clear Pepsi? Now that I'm old enough to care about my teeth getting yellow, I would like the option to drink soda without the syrup that browns my pearly whites. Preferably though, Clear Dr. Pepper, thank you.
As much as I hate cleaning my apartment, I always think about the generations before me who had to mop with a bucket of murky water. I would most likely live in filth if it weren't for the ever growing array of Swiffer products.
Every time I'm on an escalator I look down and think, "The most painful experience ever would be falling down an escalator." And then I hope it never happens to me.
I don't care if its all probably the same "bread." I just cannot bring myself to put a hot dog or hamburger between two pieces of sandwich bread.
How did magicians start wearing tuxes? What's so formal about magic anyway?
Last night, while out wearing jeans and a conservative black shirt, a man passed by me and mumbled "Looking good Lady Gaga." Considering the fact that I had pants on and wasn't wearing bubble wrap...I can't figure out if I should be offended.
Nothing pisses me off more than the fact that paperback versions take a solid two years to come out after the hard back. Hmm, pay twice the price or wait two years to read a Times best seller? Damnit.
If you only smoke when you drink, then bring cigarettes to the bar where you know you'll be drinking. I can't afford my habit and yours.
Say what you will about Starbucks Coffee being overpriced, but its cheaper than crack and gets the job done.
Its SO much better to have a 3 Day Weekend go into Monday than have one that starts on Friday.
Speaking honestly here, I can't even remember what the original Facebook looked like. I remember protesting the Newsfeed format...but other than that, it's totally blank.
Never telll me that you are "too buzzed" to do something. Buzzed is the point at which one can keep on drinking or sober up without shame. Buzzed is a cop out. Now, when you're "too fucked up" to do something, then we can start negotiations.
My Verizon ENV Touch gives the option of both a keypad and a touchscreen. Its probably a bad sign that after getting used to the touch screen my thumbs get tired when i have to push down on the keys.
Why are there machines/restaurants/vendors that are still cash only? Newsflash: Its 2009 and Plastic is the new Green.
Is it just me or is Sarah McLaughlin the new Sally Struthers?
I saw a girl in a cute professional dress with her bra straps hanging out and within a block a woman in a shirt which was unevenly buttoned. I must conclude that these people don't have friends in their offices to point out they look like a hot mess.
I get uncomfortable when people use things like Victoria's Secret bags as lunchboxes. I may know your lunch is in there, but I can't stop thinking "Panties."
I hung up on my boyfriend this morning and promptly got a text saying "You can't just hang up on people all your life." Oh really? Wanna bet? You didn't call back did you? Point made. Success.
I just saw a guy coming out of the men's bathroom on my office's floor in the process of zipping up his fly. Really guy? Take your time. It's work. Bathroom breaks are a good thing. I also figure its very likely that he did not wash his hands.
There are few things more frustrating than sitting in traffic in the HOV lane.
There is something a little badass and a lot annoying about those who speak in the third person.
I always bring a book to work as if I'm really going to read it in my "down time." Yeah right...I have the Internet in front of me, there's never any down time!
Has anyone ever gotten a rejection letter from a Temp Agency? Its humiliating...not even qualified to answer phones for 2 week intervals.
I got rid of my Blackberry Storm yesterday because it's a piece of shit. Now I don't know if I can handle not knowing what junk email I get and when. Is someone trying to BBM me and doesn't know I switched phones? AH! I want my shitty phone back!
I hate it when someone else's clothes smell better than mine and then I switch to the detergent they use...and mine still smell the same.
katattack520 is a fan of...
-
Karo
-
kristin
-
memhoe
-
tessica
-
smarieg
-
Boredatwork
-
webMDoody
-
steven
-
bethgoldstein
-
alterego
-
alexbash
-
nlzimm
-
shutupbabyiknowit
-
randyfitz
-
dwightschrute
-
pecas7
-
udkyle8
-
DescubrirElPastel
-
sodope
-
Devlin
-
DrewJames
-
EverythingSucks
-
twinsman
-
athena1021
-
jomalley
-
michie03
-
areyoumadatsteve
-
snarkolepsy
-
KGmoney
-
butta99
-
IamKellyAnne
Fans of katattack520
StephBone
jaymiles