Aaron Karo

Username: Karo
Profile Link: http://ruminations.com/Karo
Gender: Dude
Age: 29
Location: Los Angeles
Hometown: Plainview, New York
College: University of Pennsylvania '01
Internal Links: Books | Stand-Up | Column | Contact
URLs: Facebook | MySpace | YouTube | AaronKaro.com
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“From the page to the stage, Aaron Karo’s insights into the twentysomething mind have secured his place as the irreverent voice of a generation.”

Hello and welcome to my site! My name is Aaron Karo (pronounced KAY-ro) and I founded Ruminations.com in August 2008. This is my story.

In 1997, as a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania, I sent a funny email to twenty of my buddies from high school. That email spawned a regular “email column” entitled Ruminations that, through forwarding and word-of-mouth, soon attracted readers nationwide.

Simon & Schuster published compilations of the column in my two books, Ruminations on College Life and Ruminations on Twentysomething Life.

After a brief detour on Wall Street, I began performing stand-up in 2002. Thanks to my amazing fans, I now headline sold out shows at theaters across the country.

In 2005, I moved from New York City to Los Angeles to write sitcoms, perform stand-up, and touch fake breasts.

In August 2008, I launched Ruminations.com to enable my fans to write their own ruminations and share them with the world.  Later that month, I performed on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS.  And in December 2008, Comedy Central Records released my all-new stand-up album, Just Go Talk to Her.

More than eleven years after I started writing, I continue to email out Ruminations every other Monday. What began with twenty friends has now been read by hundreds of thousands of people around the world.

I hope you enjoy my site and please contact me if you have any questions or comments!

Click here to view my complete column archive dating back to 1997!

Ruminations

 
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There is no slideshow setting that could possibly allow me to plow through the barrage of pictures you just sent me fast enough.

 
 
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I still keep a ping pong ball in my apartment. Just in case.

 
 
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Why does the first speed of fast-forward on my DVR seem slower than normal playback?

 
 
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I am either the worst or the best possible houseguest. I either get too drunk and vomit in your bathroom, or hook up and never make it back to your place at all.

 
 
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I officially call dibs on dressing as “Joe the Plumber” for Halloween.

 
 
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I will never be hospitalized for “exhaustion.”

 
 
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Instead of smoking a cigarette after sex, I check my BlackBerry. It doesn’t smell bad, it won’t cause cancer, but it has the same soothing effect.

 
 
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More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

 
 
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Mixed drinks are like masturbation: only you know exactly how you like it.

 
 
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I'm on a plane about to take off and I'm experimenting with submitting a rumination from my BlackBerry. I'm stuck in a middle seat and, sadly, see no mile high opportunities at all...

 
 
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Dear Future Wife: the most important job you will ever have is to kill spiders for me.

 
 
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How disappointing is it when you’re Facebook-stalking someone and you finally find a picture that they’re tagged in, but when you roll over the photo it turns out they’re not the cute one?

 
 
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In a way, I totally understand where Brett Favre is coming from. Sometimes in life there’s just a limited window of opportunity to do the things you love. It’s kind of like the way I feel about being young, drunk, single, and stupid.

 
 
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Please don’t take your shoes off when you walk into my apartment if your feet are dirtier than your flip-flops.

 
 
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Ever feel like August is such a bullshit month that you shouldn't even have to pay rent?

 
 
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The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

 
 
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This is the very first rumination to ever be posted to the site! It’s kind of weird to launch a new web site and be the only registered user. It's kind of like throwing a party and hoping that people will actually show up. In both instances, the only thing you can do is wait – and know that no matter what happens, in about two hours you’ll be outrageously drunk anyway.

 
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