Ruminations
I get highly disappointed when I find out that a singer isn't nearly as hot as they sound.
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Why does the "Num Lock" key have to be so close to the actual numbers? I always inadvertently hit it and then have to hunt down my cursor.
Whoever put a holiday on a Monday should have thought about adding a recovery holiday on Tuesday. Nobody should be allowed to work the day after under strenuous circumstances such as long weekend hangovers.
Someone hid my coffee cup this morning. Do they not realize that they almost got shot because I had nothing to put my caffeine in. Close call, but I found it. They can live another day.
Today I saw a DVD that teaches you how to dance to the songs such as the The Electric Slide. If you have to buy a DVD to teach you a dance to a song that tells you what to do you might as well jump in front of a train.
Driving on my ass in the morning before my caffeine is like teasing an angry grizzly bear with raw meat. Someone is going to get hurt.
Thanks coworker who just sprayed a ton of air freshener around the floor. Just because you like the smell of it doesn't mean I do! Thanks for making my headache worse.
Is there really a non-messy way to eat those small powdered donuts?
The end of one year is a build up to a let down of the beginning of the next. I get so many days off for all the end of year holidays and then I don't get any until May. It's like a 5 month period of Hell.
My New Year's resolution this year is to not make a New Year's resolution. We all know we only break them the week after the year starts so why even make the effort?
If someone is tailgating you on the freeway the easiest solution to the problem is to clean your windshield. You get a clean windshield and get all the dirty water off your car onto their windshield.
Nothing is scarier then driving home sober at 2:30 in the morning on a Saturday.
Jelly Bellies should never be eaten without the package that tells you which one is which. It really sucks when a buttered popcorn sneaks into my mouth.
There is something gratifying knowing that I got more Christmas cards then my boss.
I love the old man on the dance floor at weddings who thinks we're cheering them on because we like their moves when we're really just happy that someone else is making a fool of themselves.
The song "Feliz Navidad" makes me think I actually know spanish.
If I ask someone how to spell their last name it isn't because I don't know how to spell it, but it is because I just can't remember what it is. However, it is very embarrassing when it is something simple like Smith.
I now find it acceptable to simply write "Happy Birthday" on someone's Facebook wall then to actually call them.
I have never successfully been able to remove a staple from a piece of paper without tearing said paper.
I just saw a coworker using a phone book. I think it is time to introduce her to the internet.
I still dig the toy out of the cereal box as soon as I open it. Who doesn't want a color changing spoon to eat with?
Its actually snowing in Houston right now and I don't know if I'm happier because I haven't seen snow in about 5 years or if it is because there is a possibility of no work tomorrow because we don't know how to drive with ice on the road.
I want a heater in my car that defrosts my windshield, comes out of my vents, and warms my feet all at the same time. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I grew up a little this year. I stopped wanting to be on Real World and decided that The Amazing Race will do.
I had every intention to actually get a lot of work done today while I was getting ready this morning. Then I actually got to work...
Nothing sucks more then opening a brand new can of Pringles and finding them all crushed.
I just thought about how many people have touched all of my paperclips and it creeps me out.
Any time I read about something about chapstick I immediately try to find mind to make sure I haven't lost yet another one.
I laugh every time I see that AT&T has stuck one of their own emails into my Spam folder in my AT&T email account.
The first time I ever tried to call someone on a phone I just could not find the dash and gave up.
Would Romeo have liked Juliet as much if their families didn't care if they saw each other?
I am truly amazed at how I can click something completely wrong and/or random on my computer and figure out something I never knew.
I love Christmas lights on houses but I really hate those houses that have that one random row that blinks. It's either all or none!
I just got my first fan on here while the song "Just Dance" by Lady Ga Ga was on. I felt like I was in a movie and immediately started dancing in my chair.
It took me about 23 years to figure out that Santa was really Daddy in the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". I just always thought that Mommy was going to be in big trouble!
Every time I hear the names Spencer and Heidi I cringe a little.
I get very disappointed when I go to a bar on karaoke night and the singers are actually good.
My coworker just told me that she liked my shoes. I've had these shoes for a while now and wear them more then once a week. I know that this compliment only stemmed from the fact that she was walking by and felt like she needed to say something to me. I never know how to respond to these compliments. So, lets just save both of us the trouble and next time just not say anything at all.
The only fundraiser ever worth buying anything from is Girl Scout Cookies.
We took my 6 year old niece shopping on Black Friday this year. I think we scarred her for life.
I miss having Snake on my cell phone on days like this.
Our company usually lets us leave at 12 on the day before Thanksgiving. We get the email today and we can't leave until 3. I didn't even bring anything for lunch! So, if I leave at noon don't be surprised if I call saying I have a flat tire and won't be back in.
Nothing is worse as that lone pine needle that gets stuck so perfectly on your windshield wiper that you can not get off no matter what the heck you do.
If Spencer wasn't on The Hills we wouldn't really have anyone to hate and there really wouldn't be a reason for me to watch it and see what dumb antics he pulls tonight.
It feels so weird to call someone with the same name and leave them a message. "Stephanie this is Stephanie call me back when you can!" I always feel like they're going to think they called themselves while drunk and left a message instead of calling me back.
How come it is hard to break bad habits but easy to break good habits?
I just found out that I get July 3rd off next year since the 4th of July falls on a Saturday. My work has now given me reason to come back for the next 8 months for that glorious 3 day weekend!
I wonder who was the first person to use the expression "LOL".
If I sneeze at work and you hear me you better say bless you!
Whenever I'm at work and the program I am using crashes I immediately go play on the internet instead of finding other work to do.
Nothing is worse then waking up on Friday and then realizing it is still Thursday.
At the grocery store the other day I talked my boyfriend out of buying Rice Krispie treats for a more healthier option. I pointed out the 100 calorie Kudos and while he was looking at it I checked how many calories were in the Rice Krispie treats. They were only 90 calories. Needless to say the boyfriend got the Rice Krispies. They should really advertise this on the front of the box in big red letters or we may never know!
People who walk/run in the road when there is a perfectly good sidewalk available should be worth 1,000 points.
Facebook and Myspace should join forces and become Facespace. Okay really, it'd just be easier to stalk everyone if there was only one.
There is no doubt in my mind that after you lose something important (ATM card, phone charger, etc.) and go buy a new one, it will suddenly reappear when you least expect it and in the most obvious of places.
Yesterday my boyfriend was complaining about having to pay $1.99 for gas because it is 10 cents cheaper elsewhere. It took a lot of my energy NOT to smack him over the head and remind him that gas was $4.00 two months ago. Shoot, I'm not complaining! I can actually eat now with the money I'm saving on gas!
You know you're reached adulthood when you are asking for bathmats and ironing boards for Christmas.
My mom and stepbrother got in a snow mobile accident back in March and now any time he gets in trouble she tells him they're going to go snowmobiling.
Yesterday when I got to the bowling alley I was telling my friend how bad traffic was because of the rain. He proceeds to try to tell me that it is always that bad. How can someone who never drives that route tell someone who always does how bad traffic is? Hence an argument did ensue.
When I drive at night I somehow can convince myself that every car looks like a cop car. See that Hummer over there...it's a cop car!
I haven't quite adjusted to daylight savings time yet. Every time I wake up for work and it is light outside I have a slight panic attack.
Just because you start a Facebook group about something happening if so many people join doesn't mean it is going to happen. Texas is not going to secede from the union because 1,000,000 people joined your group (good luck getting that many people)! Let's move on and find a better platform for your concerns.
There are only 2 types of people who should wear glitter. Kids and strippers. Take note of that!
You know that your DVR spoils you when you are at someone's house and try to find the fast forward on their remote when the commercials come on. It's even worse when they don't have DVR and you do it multiple times.
They say DVR has hurt advertisers, but have you ever paused it on a commercial? Sitting there staring at a box of Ziploc Freezer bags really gets stuck in your head. That is one thing I remembered at Wal-Mart later! DVR-0 Advertiser-1
If the McRib is as popular as this commercial makes it out to be then why doesn't McDonald's just sell it all the time?
I am convinced the elevator comes faster if you hit the up/down button multiple times.
The first half of my work day is always about wasting as much time as quickly as possible so lunch time comes faster. The second half of the day is spent frantically trying to get all my work done that I was supposed to do the first half of the day.
Apparently around the age of 25 your friends start conspiring against you and having babies faster then you can think. It's like I always have 2 friends pregnant at once. Then one has their baby and I turn around and my sister is telling me she's pregnant again! I don't think I can afford this much longer!
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