Username:
coachmurdog Profile Link:
http://www.ruminations.com/coachmurdog Gender:
Dude Location:
East Lansing, MI Hometown:
Dorr, MI College:
Michigan State University
About Me:
A big fan of deep thinking...
Ruminations
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If you aren't interested in dating her, take her to a movie. You don't have to talk to her, and when you break it off, she'll be confused by all the movies you saw together.
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Every time I see a closed shower curtain, I assume that there is a 50/50 chance of finding a hot girl or axe murderer behind that curtain.
24
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Saying that something is "indescribable" is, in fact, a description.
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It's crazy that you can sneeze so hard that you lose your balance...
12
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During the international soccer games, how come it always sounds like a swarm of bees in the background?
15
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If a girl is cute and she uses big, complicated words correctly, she is a KEEPER!
11
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I heard an advertisement for Taylor Swift on Dateline... and the first thing I thought of was "To Catch a Predator: Celebrity Edition."
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If I had to choose between a girl and a rice krispie treat... I'd probably pick the girl, but it wouldn't be an easy choice.
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What does the future hold for the kids who win the National Spelling Bee? It's probably not money, women, and cars, as much as I'd like it to be...
17
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The best diet plan... break your driver side window so it can't roll down and fast food is eliminated.
9
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If your phone has the vibrate function turned on, don't leave your phone on the shelf above the toilet.
27
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Regardless of what type of sickness I am feeling, NyQuil is always the answer.
10
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I hate it when I slip on my shoes, and one shoe is way more loose than the other...
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If it was a cold day and Jesus had the option, do you think he would have worn carpenter pants?
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Sorry dude, but if you and that cute girl both drink off of the same straw, it doesn't count as "making out."
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Are truck drivers and sailors offended when regular people claim that they swear "like a trucker" or "like a sailor"?
43
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In terms of women's fashion, the first weeks of spring are comparable to Halloween on college campuses or a prostitutes' convention.
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Regardless of how much stuff your girlfriend has in the back of her car, never explain this fact by telling her she has a lot of "junk in her trunk."
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2 to 3 feet is the general distance you stand away from someone during a conversation... unless the other person talks with their hands and moves them around a lot. In this case, you don't talk to that person. They are trying too hard.
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A friend of mine swings his arms when he walks, like he is in the military. I never knew you could be an overachiever when you walk too...
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NASCAR is only newsworthy when a car almost flies into the crowd on the final lap...
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If a frat boy pops his collar and no one is around to see it, is he still a douchebag?
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If I have something important going on two days from now, I feel like I have to get a lot of sleep now to gear up for it.
8
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Watching a silent movie for class makes me want to silently blow my brains out.
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Is there anyone who doesn't know the words to Journey: Don't Stop Believin'?
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There isn't much, if anything, that makes designated driving tolerable.
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If you are wearing something that says 'Diva' on it, I automatically think you are a liar... and probably a bitch.
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If something happened to Coca-Cola... what would the polar bears drink?
51
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Unless we hang out all the time, or you are really hot... I am gonna have a hard time remembering your name.
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I love Qdoba, Chipotle and all those burrito places... but the structural integrity of the burrito is always unsound.
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Why did Frosty the Snowman have a pipe? Because the kids just got done smoking up before they gave it to him... you'd have to be high to believe you can put a hat on a snowman and this will make him dance around.
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Someone told me that the greatest challenge in life is to find someone that knows all your flaws and failures but still loves you. To that I responded, "yeah, and the second greatest challenge is being able to touch your toes."
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When a research paper is due in a week, why do I always start it on day 6, and turn it in about ten minutes before the deadline? Put the "pro" in procrastination...
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My English literature class is studying a famous woman author in the 1600's who married a guy named Richard Sackville... Really? Too easy...
3
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As "anti-American" as it sounds, we need a condensed version of the national anthem for sporting events... that song is way too long and I want to watch the game!
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Enough with the Viagra commercials on ESPN. I'm not trying to "get it up" during a college basketball game. Alternative: Viagra commercials during chick flicks... maybe she will get the hint.
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Why do guys give chocolate to girls for Valentine's Day? Answer: So when she asks "does this dress make me look fat?" he can say "yes, you just ate that box of chocolate."
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What kind of trap doors and booby traps did George W. leave in the White House when he moved out? Hey Barack, for your own safety, if you see a switch and don't know what it does, please don't touch it!
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Hey Netflix... don't pretend to know what kind of movies I like; stick to what you are good at. I pick movies, you send them. The End.
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Not only was your phone lost, stolen, broken, dropped in a toilet, etc... you announced it to the world via Facebook... so we can all feel sorry for a split second, then laugh at you.
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Everyday I meet people in college and ask myself, "How did you get accepted here?"