Ruminations
The Sherlock Holmes movie would have been exponentially better if one of the supporting characters had said, "No shit Sherlock!" at least once.
25 
I beg to differ with the old saying that "You can choose your friends but not your family" as you can choose to marry your way into a pretty kick-ass one.
How are reality show contestants able to take off for weeks at a time from work and where can I find a job like this?
When I wear a new piece of clothing for the 1st time, I get overly paranoid that I missed removing a tag or label somewhere.
I wonder if surgeons envision what their new patients would look like while unconscious during their first visit.
It's too bad that people never follow through on their threat to leave the country if "so and so happens".
Getting a traffic ticket would be a little less painful if the officer gave you a lotto ticket along with it. Sure I just received a $75 speeding ticket, but now I have a chance to win it all back in one shot!
How did people eat crappy food before condiments were invented?
I love when people get evicted, it's like a free garage sale.
If a restaurant tells me that "there is going to be a 45 minute wait", I get angry if the wait actually ends up being 45 minutes.
I'd rather not "just go with the flow", if the flow is headed towards a waterfall.
Some friends you are stuck with for the rest of your life, the sole reason being that they just have to much dirt on you.
No matter how late I'm running, I could never forgive myself if I ever receive a speeding ticket on the way to work.
I find it hard to cheer against the Service Academies during sporting events, even when they are playing against my college. We really kicked Army's ass last night just doesn't sound right to me.
I wish that someone whom I had grown up with had become famous just so I can tell everyone I knew them when they were just a kid.
If you don't have anything nice to say, make sure that you don't say it too loudly.
The bright side of the Tiger Woods situation: At least some other golfers now have a chance to win some tournaments for a while.
My parents keep saying how badly they want some grandchildren. I never thought I'd see the day where my mom and dad pretty much say please go out and have some sex.
Whenever I see someone with a bad haircut it makes me wonder how their hair looked previously to inspire this change.
It's nearly impossible to eradicate a good nickname once it sticks.
Why do Chinese food places put up generic pictures of Chinese dishes above the counter? I know what sweet and sour chicken generally looks like but I want to know which version your place has.
I haven't purchased pens in 5 years, thanks a lot work.
I love how you can criticize someone in the room and disguise it under the umbrella of "people." Some examples include "People can't drive" and "People are stupid."
When I get home from work the last thing that I want to do is anything that reminds me of my job. This leads me to question whether professional music artists sing in the shower.
I love when the yesterday version of me was productive.
No matter how much some people deny it, everyone loves watching a good confrontation.
What's the rationale behind posting signs that state "maximum penalty not to exceed $200"? Well now that you have layed out the worst case scenario for me maybe I will take a chance and smoke in the lavatory.
I put my Dannon yogurt in the freezer and it tasted nothing like what we call "frozen yogurt".
How can it be raining outside, the radar says that it isn't.
I'm not an introvert, I'm just not interested in talking with you.
Breaking up is hard to do, when your significant other is psychotic.
When I want to call someone out on an issue I sometimes refrain for the sole reason that I know its just a matter of time until someone else does the dirty work for me.
How do actors and actresses remember all of their lines, considering that I can't even memorize a paragraph.
Am I the only one who can't tell the difference between a $20 piece of art and a masterpiece?
I'm not going in the wrong direction, I have just decided to take the long way around the earth instead.
Lawyers always complain "How is my client going to be able to get a fair trial under these conditions." Well maybe your client should have thought about this before shooting someone in front of 5 people.
Has an obituary ever been written depicting someone as being a bad human being?
I intentionally went to an easier college in order to avoid all of the geeks and now I'm surrounded by them at work, oh the cruel irony.
If I were a gym owner I'd be running non-stop ads the day after Thanksgiving.
It really makes you think how dependant we are on the skills of other drivers when two cars in front of you look like they are about to collide.
Thank you for advertising your hospital on TV. In the event of an emergency I was originally planning on going to the closest one but now I'm definitely planning on going the extra 20 miles to yours instead.
The one aspect that I miss about renting from Blockbuster were the free previews that came with the movie.
Whenever I go out at night there are always more guys out than there are girls no matter what the venue. Where the hell do all of the girls go?
Sometimes you just need to get out of the conversation without doing further damage to yourself.
Whoever came up with the idea of the red light camera deserves to be executed.
The risk of telling someone "not to be late to somewhere" rears its ugly head even if you end up showing up as little as 10 seconds late yourself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it beats being the recipient.
I can't help but wonder how I would fare if I were born during a different time period.
If I have to bring dessert over to your place you better believe that its going to be one of my favorites.
I often find myself internally questioning someone's age, even after they have told me how old they are.
I get scared just buying tickets from people on Craigslist, I can't imagine finding a roommate on there.
I do a great acting job of pretending I'm upset when the system goes down at work.
Note to co-workers: I'm being paid to be nice to you, let's not mistake this for friendship.
Sometimes I let someone explain something to me that I already understand just to make them feel good.
If everyone ate at the same pace, meals would be a lot more enjoyable.
Whoever selects the topic of discussion losses the right to complain about where the conversation ends up.
The band reunites, a.k.a. the band is desperate and out of money.
I went home to clean out some of my old stuff and realized that I own more Cliffnotes than actual books.
It must suck when a band releases one of their least favorite songs and it becomes their biggest hit.
Even when its beyond my control I hate being the one holding up the line.
In the Geico commercials how come no one ever tries to grab "the money that they could be saving on car insurance" and run because I'm pretty sure if there was a pile of money laying on the floor by me that's what I would do.
I've decided to skip the gym today since I already got a workout in, I opened two handicap doors.
Note to Starbucks: You are really dropping the ball by not staying open 24 hours.
The front row seats at the movies should be discounted.
Its such a satisfying feeling when someone tries to enter in the middle of a conversation and fails miserably.
When someone is typing in their password I always look away despite the fact that they are bound to leave their computer unattended 10 minutes later anyway.
Why do some places get so pissed when you go to use their coupons, isn't that what they wanted to happen?
When a single friend offers to set me up on a blind date with one of their friends I'm immediately skeptical. Why are they passing up on this person for themself?
I enjoy showing friends cool websites to check out while they are at work. I'm an equal opportunity productivity killer.
I would think that the hardest part of winning a big prize in public is to avoid celebrating like crazy so that others don't try to steal it. No, I didn't win McDonald's Monopoly yet but one can only dream.
When hanging around your friend's significant other, filtering the content of your conversations becomes a requirement.
Aren't music artists incriminating themselves to millions of people by singing about their drug use?
Am I the only one that sees the Taylor Swift trainwreck coming?
Many times when someone says that they are allergic to something it just means that they haven't tried it enough times yet.
The "Do Not Call List" is great but what we really need is a "Do Not Mail List", that's right I'm talking to you Comcast.
I feel that people who leave the generic voicemail on their phone are hiding from something.
The main problem that I have with newspapers is its contents are outdated.
In movies a dialogue always takes place before someone is about to be killed. In real life I'm pretty sure that the killing occurs the first opportunity humanly possible.
While surfing the internet at work my biggest fear is having a mental lapse that involves typing in a "home" website.
Despite the fact that there is basically no realistic chance of being caught its such a satisfying feeling sneaking food/drinks into the movies.
Despite popular opinion, inching up in line doesn't move you up any spots.
I'm much more likely to be inappropriate over the phone than an e-mail due to the threat of a paper trail of the conversation.
It doesn't matter if I have left a good one or a bad one, I just wish that I could see my waiters/waitresses reaction to their tip.
I hate the feeling that you get when someone asks you to let them into a building and normally you would need a card or key to get in.
During a workout I'm definitely having a salad for dinner as there is no way I am wasting all of that hard work. Come dinnertime I have earned the burger and fries that I'm eating because I worked out earlier.
When ignored most things end up taking care of themselves anyway.
I can't help but feel honored when I have a Hurricane named after me.
Since the damage has been done already, what's the harm in Erin Andrews posing for Playboy. Its her opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade out of the video situation.
Trying not to acquire other people's bad habits is quite a battle each and everyday.
I've just thought of an easy way to offend both New Yorkers and Bostonians in one sentence: The Patriots are the Yankees of football.
I know that we are friends, but if you aren't able to hold a steady job don't expect my assistance with landing a new one with my office.
There's only so many times that you can push down the trash until its time to admit defeat and take it out.
Park Closes At Dusk: Thanks for keeping others away so my girlfriend and I can have some privacy.
Every conversation needs that one person who is willing to cross the line of inappropriateness in order to allow others to do the same.
SAW VI, proving that not all good things come in 6 packs.
Just because you move to a new city doesn't mean that you need to adopt their sports teams.
If Taylor Swift gets this angry about guys that just reject her I can't imagine what she would do if a guy were to cheat on her.
Before being allowed to use the self-checkout line it should be required that you pass a test in basic checkout competency.
After you make a mistake its nice when someone else makes even a bigger mistake therefore covering up your minor blunder.
If I replied to your e-mail using my nickname I expect you to refer to me by that name in all future correspondence.
We all need instant replay in our lives and not just for sports. So you say that you didn't take the last cookie, well let's go to the instant video replay to see if we have indisputable evidence.
If a person is drunk the 1st time I meet them I'll then try to imagine what they would be like sober.
There's nothing that beats those few weeks that your office is transitioning between managers.
I know that you are easily going to make the light but others behind you would like to make it also.
There really is no reason to correct me when you know what I meant anyway.
Despite some of the weird names that they are given, children of celebrities are the luckiest people in the world since they are set for life at birth.
Even when something is legitimately broken I dread having to ask for a refund.
I haven't quite figured out what to do with my old computer.
They need a scensor that snaps a picture of the evidence the second your car gets dinged by another door. Co-workers may think twice before they open their door with no regard and the car next to me at the mall, I'm onto you.
I never understood the old theory that "you would be bored if you didn't work." I'm pretty sure that I can fill-in another 40 hours a week considering 20 of them would be sleeping.
It's about time that everyone got on the same page and chose one universal username for all of their web accounts.
I'm never quite sure what to do when I have two items in the oven and they need to be heated different tempartures.
I hate grey areas, such as do I tip the curbside takeout waiter at Outback or risk them remembering the fact that the guy with the grey Altima is going to learn a lesson next time.
The next time my sports team loses in the Championship I'm going to track down the championship shirts that were sent to a third-world country. So you say the Giants lost in the Superbowl, I don't think so.
I always feel better about my upcoming meal if the people in line with me are fit no matter how healthy or unhealthy the food actually is.
Just because you don't feel like you ruined the movie for me by giving parts away doesn't mean you didn't ruin the movie for me.
Why don't U-Haul's have locks on the back of their trucks, if there was ever a time to protect possesions this would be it.
One of the main reasons its so hard to fall asleep on weeknights is that I know as soon as I wake up its time to get ready for work.
Note to companies: Demonstrating the high quality of your new TV via commercial on my current TV kind of loses its effect.
There is no good way to travel on the day before Thanksgiving.
Al and Peggy Bundy never could have had a daughter as hot as Kelly together.
Although the food may not be as good, Thanksgiving would be a much better time if spent with friends rather than family.
As far as I'm concerned the day isn't over until I go to bed, so 2AM is indeed still Friday night.
I hope my parents never move out of their house because I have no idea where I would put all of my stuff.
The United States should retire the letter "W" in honor of George W. Bush.
I sometimes wonder how many of my elementary/middle school teachers are now dead.
I don't know what's worse: tieing the Cincinnati Bengals or not knowing that the game could end in a tie.
There's no easy way to tell someone that they have bad breath.
When having lunch with a group of friends there is always someone that underpays their share of the bill.
Everytime I purchase tickets on eBay, there is a small sense of relief when I walk through the turnstile at the event and it's confirmed that the ticket is indeed not counterfeit.
It's always exciting when your ringtone song is being played on the radio.
I feel like something bad will happen to me if I don't allow the person with one item to checkout in front of me at the supermarket.
Whoever gets married these days without signing a prenup is either broke or setting themselves up for disaster.
Its always challenging trying to pass one more car before exiting the highway.
I find it ironic when a celebrity who probably hasn't read a book in years writes a book.
Whoever established 12:00 PM as the universal checkout time at hotels obviously didn't party too hard in college.
On the road, it is sometimes hard to distinguish between bad drivers and drunk drivers.
Even when I'm the first appointment of the day I still end up waiting at the doctor's office.
Unfortunately gas is one of those items that's hard to stock up on when it goes on sale.
Google is now going to show where flu outbreaks are occurring based on web searches. If this doesn't spread mass paranoia I don't know what will.
Working overtime is a myth, physically staying at work extra hours and getting paid for it isn't.
Its always exciting logging into Facebook and seeing that you have a new friend request until you find out that the request is from your Dad. Yes, our parents are starting to join Facebook and our worlds are colliding.
What I eat for dinner is heavily influenced by what others have brought for lunch.
As nice as it is to have a jacket keeping me warm for that one minute I'm outside, it becomes a huge liability on where to place it once I'm inside.
Underneath the expiration date (which no one follows) they should include a don't eat after date so we know when it actually becomes dangerous to eat the product because I'm sick of taking so many chances.
The one career where I wouldn't mind working on nights and weekends is professional athlete.
If there are 1,000,000 people in one of the Facebook groups, at least 20% of them are people who joined the group just to argue on the wall and stir up trouble.
John Madden would be at a big disadvantage when campaigning if he ever ran for President.
If they brought back the original Nintendo and just improved the system so it doesn't break after a few years it would sell out in stores despite the inferior graphics, in fact there would be a waiting list.
In order for a restaurant to be on a highway food sign there should be a limit on how far off the exit it actually is.
Do Obama or McCain really have to show their IDs when they go to vote today?
I don't understand how some people laugh at everything they hear. I wish I could be amused that easily.
The only aspect that's more difficult than applying a college sticker to the back of the car is when you try to remove it 5 years later.
By offering free ice cream on election day it appears that Ben & Jerry's is trying to keep the college vote away from the polls.
When I wake up around 7 in the morning, the day is almost 30% over already.
It never ceases to amaze me that some of my extremely annoying co-workers actually have friends who voluntarily hang out with them outside of work.
Listening to the radio in the morning on the way to work is like playing Russian roulette, you never know what song you will get stuck in your head for the day.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I can't imagine how slutty the costumes would get if Halloween was in August.
Sometimes when I see a "Do Not Enter" sign I think what idiot made the mistake to create the need for this one.
What happened to the AFC, they are starting to look like the Eastern Conference in basketball.
Does a criminal get the reward for their capture if they turn themselves in?
Even though I technically have "off" on the weekends, I still have to remember all the information learned at work to do my job on Monday and should be compensated for memory storage over the weekend.
You'll thank me later for this piece of information. If someone sends a Facebook message to multiple people, the reply button becomes a "reply to all" button. Hopefully you avoid the same fate that I had, as the New Facebook should have at least fixed this glitch.
You can pretty much guarantee that if I receive mail that is addressed to "current resident" I will promptly discard it.
As crappy as airplane food was I still wish they would bring it back.
I always find it funny when your boss has you prepare for a visit from his supervisor for hours in order to make everything look professional. As usual, he shows up for less than 5 minutes and doesn't seem to take notice on anything that was done.
When paying $20.00 cash at a gas station its so annoying how the last 50 cents takes forever to fill up.
The unemployment % would rise significantly in the United States if everyone actually did work all day.
Remember when we used to have to answer every phone call prior to Caller ID?
The sign I saw on the bridge that connects the parking garage and my office building: "There is more than one bridge to nowhere."
Gas is back under $3.00 a gallon again. Time for everyone to go out and buy SUV's.
I see a new trend taking off here, calling everyone by their first name and then their job title. "Bob the Doorman", "Jim the Painter", "Aaron the Comedian" etc.
The Rays-Red Sox game last night reminded me of why I don't gamble on sports anymore.
People always seem to ask me for directions when I'm in an area that I'm unfamiliar with.
7-Eleven currently has Obama and McCain coffee cups. When you buy a coffee from them you can "vote" for your candidate by purchasing their cup. It seems like a bad idea to purchase one of these coffee cups on the way to work.
I smell an endorsement deal coming for "Joe the plumber."
It's frustrating when you can't spell a word close enough to allow spellcheck to help you out.
If you want to get a lot of attention these days just tell people you are an undecided voter, it does wonders.
When someone uses the phrase "Let me be honest with you" does that mean they are always lying about everything else.
Am I the only one that will drive past one McDonalds to go to another one that's a mile further away because the quality of the food is better?
Papa John's has a special the day after the game where you get a free topping for each TD the Ravens score. Well they scored none yesterday, so at a time where fans probably need pizza more than ever to help drown their sorrows Papa John's helps remind them how bad their team sucks one more time.
I'm just waiting for someone to do their wedding invites via a Facebook group.
It wouldn't hurt if they made humorous wedding cards.
When my boss takes a day off, its almost like a day off for myself, the only difference is I'm physically in the office.
I'm glad that the bailout package passed. I would hate to see what the market would have done without it.
Despite all of the problems on Wall St. these days there is still on solid investment out there, the skydiving industry.
I just saw the previews for the movie "W" about George Bush. Remember when they used to actually wait until someone actually left office before making a movie about them.
Vending machines should have an "I'm feeling lucky" option like Google's.
The co-worker who brags about being the first one to arrive at the office and also the last one to leave is misguided. No one does close to 8 hours of work a day and everyone knows that, they are just the most inefficient person in the office and should be embarrassed.
Why do people call the radio station to request a song that's played once an hour anyway.
When someone sends you a nice, personal thank you card are you supposed to call and thank them?
How are you supposed to know when your brake lights go out?
Living in a first floor apartment has its advantages and disadvantages. Granted it is easier for someone to break into the apartment but in case of a fire I like my chances better.
Making passwords expire after a certain length of time actually lowers the overall amount of security. It forces everyone to write down their passwords where people can see them rather than just remember one password.
Is there really a need to show the whole movie in the previews?
The worst part about moving is when you realize that you are now obligated to help out all of your friends when they move.
It is amazing how the popularity of Livestrong bracelets have stood the test of time.
Red light cameras end up causing more accidents than they prevent due to drivers jamming on their brakes to avoid receiving a ticket.
I strongly suggest grabbing a few drinks before opening your quarterly 401K statement.
Columbus Day, the holiday that no one remembers when it is until its a few weeks away and everyone forgets when it is once it passes.
When going out to lunch with co-workers I am always being penalized for not having children. Having car seats shouldn't be a legitimate excuse for never driving when going out to lunch. Maybe next time I will just "forget" to invite them out.
I'm sure the Devil Rays would have changed their team's name to the Rays sooner if they knew this would be the result.
My eye doctor keeps saying that I can't get laser eye surgery until my eyes stop getting worse. I'm starting to think that this is some kind of scam to keep my business.
I have never understood the concept of getting a floormat of your school or favorite sports team. Everyone who comes to visit you steps all over it, which would normally be offensive if it wasn't a floormat.
By marrying a lawyer you are really taking a chance because if it ends up not working out be prepared to be taken to the cleaners.
Thanks to Facebook there is no longer a reason to go to my 10 year reunion, it's called my daily newsfeed.
Everytime I try to send an e-mail with "Obama" in it, Microsoft spellcheck's first and only suggestion is "Osama". Imagine trying to explain that mistake to the recipient of the e-mail.
It seems like every business is turning into a non-profit business these days.
I refuse to get a flu shot this year. Hopefully, everyone else in the office gets one so I have nothing to worry about.
Sometimes I feel bad about what I'm doing to my body after a long night of drinking but then I figure that technology will advance where its not an issue by the time I need a new liver.
Not participating in the celebration of Boss's Day (Oct. 16th) is career suicide.
On the road pedestrians always seem to get in the way, until I become one in which case I feel that they should always have the right of way.
The worst nightmare for a Yankees fan: Joe Torre leading another team through the playoffs with Manny Ramirez as his star player.
You know you are getting old when teenagers actually approach you and ask you to buy them beer at a convenience store.
The Dallas Mavericks new logo should be a picture of John McCain.
Fannie Mae has decided to let a woman who shot herself in the leg in an attempt to kill herself due her house foreclosing, keep her home. What kind of precedent does this set?
If global warming continues at its current rate now might be a great time to buy some cheap land in Alaska.
Why are Americans getting so upset about the $700 billion bailout? Its not like we were going to pay off the federal debt in our lifetime anyway.
Traffic circles are a insurance company's worst nightmare.
What is the point of giving a Powerpoint presentation if you are just going to read off the slides. Why don't you just hand out a copy of the slides to everyone and call it a meeting.
The phrase "money doesn't grow on trees" is actually incorrect since it is made out of paper.
I think that the subway system is trying to encourage everyone to provide exact change. The penalty for not doing so is you receive change in gold dollar coins. I am always given a weird look no matter where I try to use them as people act as if I'm trying to pay in monopoly money or something.
If they could actually create an air freshener that really smelled like "new car" (not the crappy new car scent that is currently out) that would be like striking gold.
It's bad enough returning to work after a prolonged vacation, but returning to 1,000 e-mails is just like kicking a man while he's down.
To all the dog owners out there: It is called a leash, I don't know that your dog doesn't bite so don't act startled when I get pissed at you when your dog starts running at me.
No matter what movie I go to there always seems to be one idiot who forgets to turn their cellphone off.
The irony of the lottery is the people that generally play are the ones that can't afford to lose.
I don't agree with the walk instead of drive mentality people use in order to save some money. The last time I checked it cost more to refuel your body with the calories burned from walking to the store than it cost to drive your car a few miles.
Google is to spelling as calculators were to arithmetic.
I try not to think of everyone's dirty hands when reaching in to grab a piece of candy or chips from a community bowl.
So Boss's day is upcoming. It is bad that we all need to answer to him everyday at work but now apparently we also have to take him out for lunch. Whoever created this idea is obviously a boss. When is employee's day?
The McCain campaign should have Tina Fey debate Joe Biden tomorrow night. It couldn't really hurt their chances and no one would know the difference.
I'm going on a diet starting tomorrow, something I say to myself everyday.
Nothing is more awkward than when someone yells "hold the elevator", but you choose to ignore them and they see you while the doors close. Especially when that person is your boss.
So they are throwing a baby shower for a guy in my office who's wife is pregnant. Office activities are getting out of control but at what point is this craziness going to stop?
I can't help but feel bad for the cafeteria workers in my office, but it sure makes me feel better about my job everyday at lunch.
How much better would each day be with an extra hour or two of sleep each night?
Those 100 calorie packs are such a scam, it takes at least 6 of them to fill me up.
Whoever came up with the concept of committees is a pure genius. Where else can a group of people get nothing done without having to accept any responsibility.
When someone says "this isn't going to hurt a bit" you know you are in for a painful experience.
The fact that college freshmen were born in 1990 just makes me feel old.
How much does it suck when you know that you had forgotten to turn your A/C off in your apartment as you left for work in the morning half awake. All day the meter is running and you are left helpless at work as there's nothing you can do about it until the day is over.
Finding a date on match.com is like shopping at Marshalls. You know there has to be some sort of defect you just hope it's not that bad.
There is something about microwaving food that just yells health crisis down the road.
I think hell is going to freeze over if the White Sox beat the Twins Tuesday night. That would put both Chicago baseball teams in the playoffs while both New York teams sit at home.
An advantage to not having money is there is no need to worry when the stock market tanks.
Why do candidates always give campaign speeches at rallies in front of their supporters who are already voting for them? Wouldn't it be more productive if they gave these speeches in front of their opponents supporters to try to change their minds?
No matter which place I eat at in a food court I always regret my decision when looking at others plates. Man I wish I got Panda Express.
The ultimate conundrum for a manager is how to get rid of a bad employee that just won't quit. The solution: Give them great reviews that they don't deserve so they can post for better jobs in another department.
A great way to fight a two hour parking ticket:
Claim you parked there for two hours, got your car pulled out of the spot and right back in. How can that be disproved?
For once it would be refreshing to see at the end of a political campaign ad "Hey I'm John McCain and I'm not a big fan of this particular message but my campaign manager thought what the hell, let's go with it anyway."
Why does Alaska observe daylight savings time when it is already light outside for 20 hours a day during the summer? That daylight from 1:00 to 2:00 AM must really come in handy.
Why is there still a wait to be seated at a restaurant, I thought we were in a recession?
Whoever invented the karaoke machine deserves to be prosecuted.
TV commercials always seem to be at a higher volume than the program itself. I really don't think annoying the crap out of people is a good advertising strategy.
Word to the wise: It is much harder to cheat on your girlfriend once you move in with her.
Does it bother anyone that less intelligent people tend to have more children than the smarter ones? Each generation our society gets exponentially dumber and that explains a lot.
How many less accidents would there be on the road if people tried to get out of the way rather than honking their horns?
The best part about gaining weight is that you burn more calories when you workout.
Overall I have pretty bad luck, but this guy Murphy must have been a walking disaster.
I went car shopping today and thought wouldn't it be fun if you could negotiate every place you go to. The McDonalds a mile away offered me 4 nuggets for $1.00, can you beat that offer?
It must be depressing being a toll booth collector. First off, it has to be one of the most boring jobs out there and to top it off they are gradually being replaced by EZ-Pass. I always feel somewhat guilty that I'm contributing to their job loss as I zip through and then I remember how much waiting in line for a toll use to suck.
I finally figured out a way to beat the lines at a fast food place. All you have to do is get out of the car, go inside and walk right up and order. Finally other people laziness has worked to my advantage.
To the people that are always cold in the office, suck it up and put a jacket/sweater on. There's not much I can do to solve the problem that I'm always hot so let's keep the A/C on and live with it.
So I clicked on an article talking about the demise of Washington Mutual bank and there was an Suntrust ad on the page offering a link to open a new account. Now that's what I call advertising to your target market.
Why do anti-war protests always seem to end in a violent riot?
Word of advice, when washing your hands at a public restroom its a good idea to make sure the sink works before applying the soap.
Has anyone actually ever gone to freecreditreport.com? I give them an "A" for effort with their catchy jingles which are on like every 10 minutes but it will be ironic when a credit report company goes under for not being able to pay their advertisement bill.
Does anyone else get nervous when a waiter/waitress memorizes your order. At the same time you can't question them about it because the last thing you want to do is piss them off.
How long until the "new facebook" changes its name back to facebook again? I know they changed some things to make the site more annoying but I think they may have just gotten a little carried away with this "new" terminology.
Am I the only one who finds it troubling that the legislators who got us into this financial mess are now the ones formulating a plan to get us out of it? At least get someone who stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night to take care of this one.
Why do I even have an umbrella? Even when it is raining out I don't end up using it because it is such a pain to carry.
Why do some people at work insist on saying "hi" as you pass them in hallway when you never talk to them besides for that. I think there should be an understanding that if you aren't friends with someone it should be acceptable to ignore each other in these situations.
Last year a friend from college that I hadn't spoken to in years invited me to his wedding. Not only was I surprise that I got invited but the worst part about it was that he invited me via IM since he didn't have my number anymore. I still had his number for some reason but figured it would be easier to decline the invitation via IM. Technology can be a love/hate relationship sometimes.
What is the point of leaving a message on anyone's cellphone anymore when they just end up calling you back anyway before listening to the message?
So one of my friends got me a birthday present a few weeks ago. I thought we had stopped doing that like 10 years ago. I explained to him he has now started a gift chain where I feel that I need to reciprocate on his birthday and buy him something to even things out and I just don't see how this back and forth gift giving will end now as its a vicious cycle.
I was watching a baseball game tonight and the score was tied in the bottom of the 10th inning with the bases loaded and two outs. I'm still trying to figure out why a batter was still standing at the on deck as there was no way he could have batted in that inning, seems like a waste of time to me.
Why are stoplights always red, yellow, and green. I think it is about time that we switch it up a bit to make things more exciting.
I hate when people used numbers in place of letters to abbreviate a word, it just pisses me off.
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