Ruminations
The Florida Keys seem to be a portal in which I leave all morals and standards behind.
0 
Even if a girl bartender is only somewhat attractive outside the bar, she's extremely hot behind it. Especially when you get drunk enough to forget that you're paying her to bring you drinks and it's not just because she thinks you're hot.
Even my good decisions turn out to be bad ones. It just takes them a lot longer to go sour. I'm going back to making strictly poor choices.
No matter how unlikely it is that I would ever hook up with a girl, I'm always disappointed when The Book tells me that she has just entered a relationship.
Why is Sharon Osbourne a judge for America's Got Talent? The only talented thing she ever did was keep Ozzy alive.
If you proceed to call me 4 times, especially when I'm sleeping, and don't leave a message to explain yourself, you are making damn sure I never answer your call...EVER.
The new Girls Gone Wild ad is awesome! It first says "these are the girls you've always wanted to meet" - duh, that's why I go out. Then it asks "do you like breasts?" - check. Then it tells you that "it could be your friend's sister" - please God!
Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" campaign is funny, it just doesn't promote the beer real well. So, you invented a guy that gives this endorsement: "I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer it to be Dos Equis." I guess if I felt like having a beer, I wouldn't complain if it was the one I'm doing an ad for, but if it wasn't, I wouldn't be that upset either. Wow, I should have majored in Marketing.
The only time I watch "The Real Housewives of (Enter City)" is when I should be studying.
My adult family members joining Facebook is really starting to get to me. I used to be able to con them into sending money for "food". Now, they can buy every picture proves that I just spent it at the bar.
To me, a girl's name is the same as the day of I was born. I know it exists but I can't remember it to save my life.
No matter how early I wake up for class, I undoubtedly have to rush to make it there on time.
Why is the character Ross on the show "Friends"? No one would ever be friends with him.
You know it's a long night of drinking when pre-drinking is downing 12 beers at the bar to go to another bar and drink 10 double whiskey and cokes.
Every time someone tells me how they're engaged I usually have to stop myself from saying "That sucks". Same thing with graduating college. Sorry, I'm more pleased with being single and in college at 24 than any memory you'll ever have of being married with a job at age 22.
Every time I'm in Chipotle, Subway, etc. the server always grabs for something and asks if I want it. I'm pretty sure I can tell you what I want without you asking me every ingredient.
I went to the mall today. All those kids running around and all the anguished looks on parents' faces made me think of something: God, I'm so pumped I don't have a kid.
The election is like having sex when you're drunk. You know it's for the greater good, but you just want it to be over already.
I'm really proud to still remain as having the Most Gourmet All-Time Rumination. However, I feel that if I don't get another hit soon I'll be on VH1 next week on their top 50 Rumination One-Hit-Wonders.
Why is it that the government keeps rescuing insurance companies? Is there really any other market that allows companies to only help you if something really terrible happens, but then when that something happens, they can't?
Tip: Don't tell a cop as your doing a Roadside Sobriety test that you couldn't pass the "walk the line" part sober.
I love when FOX News decides that an alligator walking down the street in Florida is the most interesting thing on Earth. They always say, "Man, I can't believe that". Well believe it asshole. We live on former swamp land. They might as well show every cow in Nebraska or every deer in Vermont. The only good thing FOX News ever did was have Karo on.
If I notice a girl is hot and share this information with friends, there always seems to be the disappointing "She's got a boyfriend". Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.
Ever notice how anti-drug commercials make you want to do more drugs...
I hate those AT&T Moblie ads. The guy pretty much tells you that you're a fucking moron for not having AT&T and are missing out on the GREATEST THING EVER! Hey, you all look like douches anyway, so I don't believe that anyone's calling you. Plus, I've been to so many bars w/ my phone and it works fine. So, Fuck off.
I notice that when I'm on Facebook or MySpace and see a hot girl or a girl I hooked up with, I always check their relationship status and am at least a little disappointed when they're in a relationship. Like, if they weren't in a relationship I'd be the first person they'd want to hook up with, even if I haven't talked to said person in 10 years.
I hate when you go to a bar and the bartender is flipping bottles around like he's Bobo the Circus Clown. Hey jackass, why don't you actually serve some drinks. And maybe if you didn't pour half the bottle of liquor on the floor when you're juggling it around, my drink wouldn't cost $7.
I hate it when you go to get off the elevator and there are already people walking on. They just walk on before you get a chance to get off. What, did you think in this building of hundreds or thousands of people you were the only one using this thing?
Sometimes, if you're internet isn't working and you go to troubleshoot, their solution is: Check this on our website. Hey fuck head, don't you think I would have done that if my internet was working.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
I really detest "Snob Drinkers" - the kids who are too good to drink Natty Light or partake in the all-you-can drink Busch for $5. Why on Earth would you go to a dive bar just to flaunt that you love to spend $5 on a Newcastle? I can have 30 beers and then possibly buy a hooker for what you're paying for a 6-pack. Douche.
Ludabers is a fan of...
Fans of Ludabers
-
PrissE -
christy0618
-
ukmusicfiend -
deebs0527 -
kcs2980 -
metcamar
-
ChristineElaine
-
Hanzio
-
milehighclub -
GrossAndAwe
-
jhovito46 -
suvtjuliet -
phatty641
-
thekluvmachine -
jodles -
mpodber
-
islanddisco -
crashravitz -
jamesaf -
CyGuy10 -
drpickls -
appletastic
-
allbie606 -
trinijay -
jaclymw -
autumnnova
-
colemarie -
tterlo89
-
jensen -
Olesen -
OddDuck -
jearu573 -
ThatGirlKristine -
CharaNoelle
