Why is it the that only people that don't seem to understand the logic in bagging groceries are the people that actually have to do it? Seriously, a gallon of milk and my bread don't go in the same bag. If I wanted flat bread I would have bought pita.

You ever look at one of those "classmate" websites and see someone that you know either graduated in a different year or from a different school then what they signed up as? And then you think, wow, I didn't realize his/she is THAT stupid.

Somewhere there is a group of guys playing pickup basketball right now, talking all about how "gay" their friend is because he couldn't make it this week due to some semi-domestic activity he had to do instead. They will then proceed to slap each other in the ass after every basket.

The other day I was lucky enough to be sitting next to my sister during her and "the girls" fantasy football draft. Events like this should be televised. Tony Romo was passed by a few times because "Jessica makes him a wussy" and Chris Brown was taken because "I like that singer guy". Sadly several of these teams will still likely be better then mine.

Where does all the hair come from?!?!? I swear to God, I just vacuumed this place!

You ever read this site alternately with other websites or your email, but forget you're no longer reading them? You read a few ruminations and chuckle, and then you're reading, "Housing prices continue to plummet". What!?!? Who wrote this shit? This isn't funny. Oh the NYTimes. I'm an idiot.

Why do I subconsciously refuse to yell at the TV when I DVR a sporting event? Yeah, it's pretty stupid to yell at the TV when the sporting even isn't live, but A.O.K. to think I could impact a game from half way around the world when it is.

I keep reading that people have to be careful about their MySpace and FaceBook pages because HR departments will scan them based on the email adresses in your resume. Horseshit! That's totally just the excuse people in HR give when their bosses catch them stalking their exes.

Ladies, can you please stop referring to your friends as "girlfriends" unless you are gay and referring to your actual girlfriend. It's fairly confusing and will likely result in a "deer in headlights" look from the males involved in the conversation. This is probably because no guy has ever referred to their friends as their "boyfriend" unless referring to their actual boyfriend.

Why do they make Veggie Burgers, Veggie Chicken Nuggets, Veggie Hot Dogs and the like? Shouldn’t part of being a Vegetarian be realizing that you don’t get to eat these meat type foods? I mean, I’ve got plenty of friends that don’t eat vegetables, I’ve never heard any of them ask for a hamburger shaped like broccoli or a salad made out of shredded hot dogs.

Why is it that I rarely watch any of the movies that I own, but when flipping through the channels I will often come to one of them and watch it?

Why is it that the only people willing to stick bumper stickers to their cars always have the older, cheaper cars? You never saw things on the back of the more expensive cars until people started making the magnets that you can stick to your car. Apparently people with more expensive cars are only willing to make a statement if they can pretend it never happened should it not work out. Hillary in 08 WOO HOO! Oh crap, take that off, Obama in 08 WOO HOO!

Every so often I realize I'm getting older. I don't stay out as late as I used to. I booze it up a little less. I plan a little bit more. I watch what I eat more. But when is the time that I'll realize I have to start pulling my socks up? At what point does one realize that socks need to be pulled high enough that they practically make shorts become pants? It sounds crazy now, but apparently at some point this will make sense, and I dread the day that it will.

My Mom got braces when she was 58. Why you'd get braces at that age is beyond me, but better yet, she acts like she's telling everyone about them for the first time. Yeah, I got braces, I can't eat bagels, chew gum, shit gets stuck in them all the time. Yeah, Mom, we got it... everyone and their Mom has had braces... Hey... Wait a minute... MY MOM DOES HAVE BRACES!

As you all know, youtube is great. I've been going back and watching all those old music videos that were totally rad back in the day. Only thing that sucks is that most of them were awesome the way I remembered them. I am now realizing most of the songs were stupid, the clothes and hair were awful, and the videos are pretty lame. Even worse, way I remember it, back in the day, I was pretty awesome...